In New York City, a fisherman reeled in a 250 pound catfish 6 feet 6 inches long.

I don't get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.

I reeled in a 6 foot 1 inch catfish

That weighed 280 lbs on Tinder

Just as the Count was about to pounce on van Helsing, the door to the library was flung open.

Incontinently, a host of furious villagers stormed into the library, waving blazing torches and voicing dire threats. The Count turned to leap on them, then reeled back, repelled at the reek of garlic that wafted from them like a solid thing.

"Count Dracula!" cried the burgomaster, a solid ci...

Bob Ross was out fishing when his pole started to dip.

He reeled in the fish and the fish said, "please don't eat me, can you please throw me back?"

Bob Ross replies, "Woah, a talking fish! I was going to throw you back anyways!"

The fish swims away a bit and then turns back, saying "Now that you let me go, how about a wish?"

Bob Ro...

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An Irishman reels in a magic lamp...

Two Irish men are fishing on a lake when one of them reels in something strange. The Irishman sees he has reeled in a magic lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says to the one man "thank you for freeing me from that lamp. I have been trapped in there for ages. To show my thanks I shall grant you on...

She was only the fisherman's daughter

But when she saw my rod, she reeled.

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Twas a slow and quiet day in the little Irish parish

so Father Oriley decided to go for a stroll
down by docks. He ran into Patrick, the local firsherman who just about to head off in his boat.


Patrick offered to take the Father out fishing for the afternoon since he was bored so they headed off.
About an hour of fishing later the pri...

Keeping with the spirit of all the international jokes, I present one of my favorite Ukrainian ones.

A Ukrainian man and a Russian man are out fishing when suddenly the Russian reels in a golden fish.
The fish looks at the men and says "Congratulations! You have caught me and know I shall grant you both three wishes."
The fish turns to the Russian man and says "Since you are the one who r...

Jacques and Pierre were bitter enemies

So one day, Jacques challenged Pierre to a duel. Swords were chosen. They faced off and drew their weapons. Jacques struck first, thrusting his sword toward Pierre, but Pierre daftly swatted his sword to the side and returned a thrust, piercing Jacques in the shoulder. They circled each other a few ...

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The new pope visits a small church.

Upon hearing the news that the new pope would be visiting his small parish Father O'Leary decided to something special for the dinner. The morning of Pope Francis' arrival he went down to the docks and found a young member of his congregation and said, "I would like to help honor the new pope by con...

Two old men were fishing off a bridge as they had done daily for many years.

Suddenly a funeral procession came down the road.

One old man reeled in his line, laid down his rod, faced the street and bowed his head until the procession had passed. He then picked up his rod and started fishing again.

The other fisherman was amazed and stated "I didn't know you we...

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One day a priest went fishing.

One day a priest went fishing with one of his flock. They took the boat out and cast their lines.

The priest's line had a fish. When he reeled it in the other man said "Look at the size of that fucker!"

The priest looked shocked and told the man "Heavens! I am a man of the cloth! Pleas...

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Lemon drops

So a man walks into a bar and sees a big tough guy standing next to a glass and some lemons.

"What's with the lemons?" he asks.

"Its a challenge." replied the bartender. "This here is the strongest man in the world. He will squeeze as much juice from half a lemon into the glass as he...

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