UPJOKE
professoruniversityacademicianlecturerundergraduateacademicgraduate schoolacademiafacultyteacherexpertschoolteacherinstructorteachtutor

Proves Jokes

NSFW A dog and a cat are having an argument about who is the favorite with humans. The dog says, “humans like us more; they even named a tooth after us (the canine). Naming an important body part after us proves they like dogs more.”

The cat smiles and says, “Guess what? You are not going to win this one”

Dr. Anthony Fauci Proves his Manhood

It's 2020, the pandemic is raging, and the White House is not happy with what Dr. Fauci has been saying on certain news stations. The argument has devolved from being fact-based to Trump calling Fauci's manhood into question. After getting wind of what the Oval Office has been calling him, Fauci r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Finally proves all blondes aren't dumb

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she strips naked from her neck down, and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One thing the toilet paper shortage proves...

Is there are a lot of assholes.

A new study proves that beavers cause extensive flooding

I've read it. The evidence against them is damning.

If Russia interfered in USA elections, that proves the system works just a little

At least someone's vote counts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.

While in Israel, his stepmother died at the hotel.

The people there told him:

"Sir, if you want to bury her back in the United States, it's going to cost you $5,000 to bring back her corpse. But since she died at the hotel, we can do the funeral here in Israel for free.

The ma...

The Trump Tower incident proves that..

..the only way to climb up a corporate ladder is by sucking up

-Love, this paper proves that I can't have children

- is it a medical exam?
-no, it's my paycheck.

Three archaeologists met in a seminar.

The British said: we dug very deep and found sculpted animal bones. This proves that my ancestors invented art.

The German said: we dug very deep and found a plate-size disk showing the solar system. This proves that my ancestors invented astronomy.

The Italian said: we dug very deep a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest.

The art teacher shows the others a giant clay sculpture of a dog he made. “This thing took me nearly a month to make.” He said. “Clearly this proves that I’m the smartest.”

The math teacher just laughs at him. “That’s nothing” she says. She then pulls out a huge 1’000 question math test which...

Early to Bed and Early to Rise proves that .

The Person has no Internet Connection...;-p

The Great Wall of China proves that Trump's wall will work...

... throughout many centuries no Mexican has ever breached it.

A recent study conducted in Germany by Professor Bernd Ottovordemgentschenfelde proves that 99.9% of people

skip his name

Open and Shut

A man’s wife disappears and he’s accused of killing her. At the trial, his lawyer tells the jury, “Ladies and gentlemen, I have amazing news. Not only is my client’s wife actually alive, but she’ll walk through that door in ten seconds."

An expectant silence settles over the courtroom, but no...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.