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Polack Jokes

An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polack...

An Irishman, an Italian and a Polack are on death row, awaiting electrocution.
The warden takes the first man, and asks him if he has any last words. He says, 'I'm innocent. Perhaps years from now, evidence will show I"m telling the truth'.
The warden says, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what t...

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A Frenchman, a Jew and a Polack

A Frenchman, a Jew and a Polack are each sentenced to thirty years in prison. Each man is given one request that will be honored by the jail warden.

”A woman,” asks the Frenchman.

”A telephone,” says the Jew.

”A cigarette,” says the Polack.

Thirty years later the Frenchma...

Polack and dog

Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a polack who have been run over by a car.

A: For the polack, there won't be any skid marks.

I posted this cause I don't understand the joke can someone explain it ( it doesn't help that I'm polish)

A Polack goes to the eye doctor

the doctor asked if he could read the bottom line of the eye chart, which showed: CZYNQWSKI. To which the Polack responded; "Yeah, I know the guy."

How do you break a Polacks finger?

Punch him in the nose.

A black guy sees an ad in the paper...

...that says, "Come and enjoy a relaxing afternoon floating down the river followed by a champagne party!" Well, the guy thinks this sounds pretty good and so heads on down to the marina. But as soon as he gets there, 3 white guys jump out of the bushes. They strip him naked, tie him to a log and th...

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[NSFW] A retired polish porn star moves to America with his family.

He eventually gets to old to live by himself during the days no one is there so they find him a home. His son asked him, "how are they treating you, are you enjoying it?"

"Yes!" He replied, "They treat everyone here with much respect! Tom down the hall was a doctor and they still call him Dr...

The Jumpers

The Jumpers

Three guys, an Italian guy, an American guy, and a Polish guy were working construction together on a high rise. Everyday at lunch, they would sit and eat together on an I-Beam, high above the city. Italian guy opens his lunch and says, "Man, I'm tired of getting the same meatball...

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb Polack by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:

"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to...

A Polack, An American and an Englishman all go skydiving...

The polack jumps fist, the American waits ten seconds, then the Englishman jumps a moment layer.

The Polack pulls his chute and it opens. The American pulls his, and it fails to open. He falls screaming passed the Polack. The Englishman pulls his chute, and it fails to open. He ...

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An Italian, an Irishman, and a Polack are in line for a job interview.

The Italian is up first. He walks into the boss’s office and notices the boss is completely ear-less.

The boss says to him “Mr. Marino, I don’t have a lot of time so I’ll get to the point. I like people who are observant and can speak their mind. Say one thing about me!”

The Italian sa...

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A man walks into a store...

He walks up to the counter and says, "I'd like three pounds of Polish sausage, please."

The clerk replies, "What are you, a fucking polack?"

Incensed, the customer responds, "Oh, so if I wanted Italian sausage would I be a dumb Guinea? Or if I wanted bratwurst would I be a stupid kraut...

A polack and a czechoslovakian went missing in a forest.

A search party of hunters formed and they went looking for the two and came upon two very large bears mating. They shot and killed the bears and cut the female bear open and found the polack's remains in her belly. One of the hunters replied "I guess the Czech's in the male"

One of my favorite Polish jokes

A Polack goes to the eye doctor. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters:
C Z Y N Q S T A S Z.
The Optometrist asks, "Can you read this?"
"Read it?" the Polack replies, "I know the guy."

Three guys are sitting in a bar

The first guy says, "Hey, you two wanna hear a Polack joke?". The bartender says "Hey, take it easy, I'm Polish". The first guy says "That's ok, I'll tell it slow"

An Italian, Irish and Polish construction workers take their lunch break on a rooftop at their job site.

The Italian man opens his lunch pail and in despondently exclaims,

"Spaghetti and meatballs *again*!? Every day my wife makes me the same thing and I just can't take it anymore."

The Irishman opens his lunch pail and angrily declares,

"Shepard's pie, ugh!!! Another day of Shepar...

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Role Playing

So a guy says to his Polish friend, "I really envy you. You've been married for over ten years, and you still get along great with your wife. How do you do it?"

"Role playing," says the Polack.

"What do you mean, 'role playing?'" asks his friend.

"Well," says the Polack, "someti...

A threesome!

So a Polack brags to his buddy, "Man, what a night I had last night. I had a threesome!"

"Really?" his buddy says. "A threesome?"

"Yep," says the Polack. "With twins!"

His buddy says, "Twins! That's awesome! But let me ask you: how could you tell them apart?"

And the Pola...

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, a Latvian..

an Irishman, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Kiwi, a Canuck, an Eskimo, a Fijian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Spaniard, a Mongolian, a Tibetan, a Polack, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Indian, an Italian, a Brazilian, a Kenyan, a South African, a Filipino...

[Discussion] Regional targets

I am wondering who are the preferred targets of jokes from where you are from, I have done a little research and have come up with the following so far:

| Region | Target |
|:--|:--|
| Canada | Newfies |
| England | Irishmen |
| America | Polacks |
| France | Belgians |
| Br...

Parking Lot Needs Paving

So a town puts a bid notice in the paper to have a parking lot paved. Three guys show up.

First guy in is Polish. "Okay," says the mayor, "how much is your bid?"

Polish guy says, "A hundred thousand dollars."

Mayor says, "Could you break that down for me?"

Polish guy sa...

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NSFW As everyone knows it was a Pollock that invented Pussy.....

Who else but a Polack would put an eating establishment, right next to a dump!

A Newfie family froze to death at a drive-in movie theater.

They were watching "Closed For The Season"

FYI Newfies are Canadians from Newfoundland. Newfie jokes are very similar to Polack jokes. Every region of the world has their "Newfies", and it's fun to find out what they are in different areas.

truckers...

As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" comes from the CB.

"I don't know," says the Polack.

The other driver says, "You and your brother!"

"Screw you," says the P...

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