Corona beer sales have plummeted just because of the name similarity

Which I don't get cause, when O.J killed his wife I didn't stop drinking orange juice

I had my first parachute jump today and was so terrified! This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane and as we plummeted, he said...

"So, how long have you been an instructor?"

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young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daug...

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A man arrives in heaven...

A man arrives in heaven and St. Peter asks him how he died.

"I came home from work early," the man says, "because I suspected my wife was having an affair."

"Sure enough, there she was in bed naked, obviously caught in the act. She was alone, but I knew her lover had to be close by. T...

The departing division general manager met a last time with his young successor and gave him three envelopes.

"My predecessor did this for me,and I'll pass the tradition along to you," he said. "At the first sign of trouble, open the first envelope. Any further difficulties, open the second envelope. Then, if problems continue, open the third envelope. Good luck."

The new manager returned to his ...

In memoriam

Rapid Roy was a daredevil who specialized in car stunts. He decided to retire in style and end his career by attempting a canyon jump in the worst car he could find. After doing some digging, he came across a Chevy Nova in an auction in Champagne, LA. It was in bad shape, but he took a chance, wo...

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.

The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.

The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, ...

The Poor Snake Named Nate

So... Nate the Snake was the king of the jungle, by virtue of his
immense size. Nate was the size of a freight train, and had a similar outlook on life. He ruled largely through terror and intimidation.


One day Nate the Snake was rumbling through the jungle, as was his own. Whenev...

I own a series of vending macines

You know, in parks and stuff, you can get a coke, ginger ale, fanta, etc.

Business was going really well, so well I had to hire a guy to help. Right after I hired him though, sales plummeted.

Trying to figure out why, I went to a few of my macines. The snacks were fine, but the drin...

Dr. Amrak, superintendent of the Tidder School District, was nervous about the upcoming budget meeting.

All of the schools in the district needed new benches and tables in their cafeterias. Unfortunately, the Tidder Comets were in a difficult financial situation, and all of the estimates for the cafeteria furniture were way too expensive. One day before the big meeting, Dr. Amrak told his secretary,...

A guy drank some magic beer

A man sat alone at the bar of a rooftop club. Soon another man sat beside him and asked him what he was drinking.

"Magic beer." the man said.

"What do you mean by magic beer?" the new arrival asked.

The magic beer drinker took 2 gulps of beer and jumped off the building....

It was a rough day when the shelf collapsed at the gun shop..

The stocks plummeted..

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Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing golf...

Jesus, Moses and an old man were playing a round of golf and the score was dead even between the three players.

First up to try and break the tie was Jesus.

He wound up and followed through. The ball took a wicked dog leg to the right and fell into the water. Jesus walked over the wat...

The Cathedral of San Giovanni

The City-State of San Giovanni is largely forgotten today. In 1571, however, it was a wonderful place to be for both the secular and the spiritual. The was no war for three centuries, the market benefited from its close proximity to the Old Salt Route, and the artist community was vibrant and influe...

There was a support group for ugly people.

and each month when they would meet, there would be a small bus to pick them all up and take them to the meeting. Well one stormy night after picking everyone up the bus driver lost control of the bus on a bridge and it plummeted into the water and all of those hideous ugly people drowned.

So...

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