UPJOKE
cottonsinginbluegrasskickinrollingoinmakinpardnerrockabillyhillbillydurnfixinolebarbecuestrumming

Pickin Jokes

"Git yer cotton pickin hands off a my gin."

-Eli Whitney

One of my band members asked why I was using such a thin plectrum...

I told him it was slim pickin’s at the music shop.

Two Scotsmen at the bar having a catch up....

1st Scotsman: Hey McBride where's Murphy?.

2nd Scotsman: Oh he's dead!.

1st Scotsman: How'd e do dat?.

2nd Scotsman: Is finger got run over by a train.

1st Scotsman: Can dat kill ya?.

2nd Scotsman: Ah no. Eee was pickin is nose at da time. 😂

Ever hear Colonel Sanders playing guitar?

Well he’s finger-pickin’ good!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy from Boston was driving down a New Hampshire country road.

He saw a farmer out in his field, doing something near a horse drawn wagon. His interest piqued, he pulled over and got out to watch. After a while, it became clear the farmer was picking something up out of the plowed field and tossing it into the back of the wagon. As the farmer got closer, the gu...

So i was picking some flowers today

I was picking some flowers in the fields today when some pulled over and started yelling

"You're on private property,get off right now, sir!"

Hmph.

Daisy me pickin' They hatin'

Ronald finally landed a job as a school bus driver.

He was assigned a rural route on a long road called Sesame Street.

At the first stop, there were two very portly girls. “I’m Patty and this is my cousin Patty” one of the two girls announced as they made their way to the back of the bus.

At the next stop there was a tiny boy waiting....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Learned this one in elementary school...

Three friends: Shut Up, Manners, and Shit, are driving along the road.

Suddenly, Shit falls out of the window.

After Manners jumps out to help him, Shut Up pulls into a gas station to get help.

When he gets there, the person at the counter says "Hi, what's your name?"

"Sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave starts a new job as Bus Driver

Dave was starting a new job as a bus driver. He arrived at the bus depot and they told him he would be driving a bus with a "Sesame Street" advertisement on the side. He found this kind of amusing, and started his shift.

At the first stop, he picked up his first passenger. It was a fat woman....

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.