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Taters Jokes

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Three Beautiful Potatoes

Mr and Mrs Potato Head have three beautiful daughters. One night, they're gathered around the dinner table when the eldest daughter speaks up.

"Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you... I'm getting married!"

Mrs Potato Head looks at her "This is such a surprise! Who is he?"

The ...

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Everyone loves potato skins and french fries,

But nobody likes dick taters.

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Why do Russians prefer to eat potatoes shaped like penises?

Because Russia loves dick-taters.

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I once tried to control a nation by simply walking around with a vegetable on the end of my penis...

I learned this trick from other dick taters.

Potato's in glasses are never the centre of attention.

They're just spec taters
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What do you call a group of potatoes at a football game?

Spec-taters
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Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters
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Mother of The Year

So a reporter for *The Kansas City Star* goes all the way down into rural Arkansas to do a feature on a single mother with twelve sons.

As they sit on the porch sipping lemon tea and smoking Camels, the mother hears a shout. She yells, "Harold, you leave your brother alone!"

Then as a ...
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