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How many pessimists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. I am screwed, lightbulb is screwed, the whole fucking world is screwed

Optimists vs pessimists

Optimists hope that we live in the best world.
Pessimists fear that this is actually the case...

I think I want to create a support group for pessimists.

Then again why bother, it will never work.

World is half full of pessimists...

Or half empty, depends how you look at it

I'm in a band called The Introverted Pessimists

You've probably never heard of us, but that's fine.

How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Never mind, nobody would get the joke anyways.

Why can't pessimists work in drug testing?

They can't see any positives.

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

Why don't German pessimists eat pork....

They always fear the wurst.

I'm sure pessimists live well

they never get frustrated.

What is a pessimists blood type?


Optimists, pessimists, and engineers

An optimist sees a glass half full.
A pessimist sees a glass half empty.
An engineer sees a glass that is twice as big as it needs to be.

Soviet pessimists and optimists

Soviet pessimist say "Ilya, things couldn't possibly get any worse"

Soviet optimist, with a big grin, says "Yes they can Sasha"

Borrow money from pessimists

They don't expect it back.

I just joined the pessimists club.

Only had to fill out half or the registration form.

What is the most common blood type among pessimists?

B Negative.

What do you call two pessimists dating?

A double negative.

Credit to /u/copperbonker

I thought about starting a support group for pessimists...

...but why bother, it's not like it'd make any difference anyway...

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.

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