Pedro gets a New Secretary.

He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband’s roving eye.

Dora (Pedro's wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?"

Pedro: “Didn’t quite notice."

Dora: "What color are her eyes?"

Pedro: “Haven’t had the time ...

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Pedro was sexually a very experienced man...

Pedro was sexually a very experienced man when he got married to Maria, but she was totally naive.

On their wedding night, when Pedro removed his clothes, Maria asked, "Pedro! What is that?"

Pedro, a quick thinker, said, "Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these."
...

One day, Juan was asked by his mother to buy milk from the store.

On the way home he slipped and the milk fell under the bridge.

"Juan where is the milk?"

"I'm sorry I slipped and it fell under the bridge"

"Let it be, it's dirty now. Now go buy eggs from the store"

On the way home Juan slipped and the eggs fell under the bridge again....

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Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

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Pedro and Juanita

Pedro and Juanita are running a cantina in Mexico. One day Pedro having a siesta and Juanita is looking after the bar.



One of the patrons is getting very drunk on tequila and he says "Hey Juanita, I want to kiss you all over your body."



Juanita says "Pees off you peeg....

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It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of Mexican immigrants, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the p...

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A man visits an Ejaculation clinic [NSFW]

A man visits an ejaculation clinic depressed that when he cums, all he can manage is a poor dribble at the end of his cock.

‘When I watch porn’ he tells the receptionist ‘they shoot it all over the poor girls face... some from like a metre away.’

‘Don’t worry’ replies the receptionist...

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Pedro worked in a fine pickle factory in Mexico City

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the cucumber slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.
After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Pedro to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of ...

Pedro was driving down a street when...

Pedro was driving down the Panjim street in a swift because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up my whiskey. I will ...

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Pedro is sitting in a sauna with two other men...

...when suddenly, a jingle goes off.

One of the guys make a telephone symbol with his hand, brings his hand up to his ear, then begins a conversation directly into it.

When he's finished, Pedro says, "whoa man, what was that?!"

"Ah, that's the newest technology," replied the m...

Teacher: Class, use "whom" in a sentence.

Pedro: Ma'am! *Raises hand* Let's go whom.

Teacher :v

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Pedro competes in a milking contest

Pedro was the champion milker in all the towns. No one could milk as much as him. He had won all the annual milking competitions for miles around.

This year also people expect Pedro to win. Frankly, there is more debate about the second and third places.

After the contest everyone is ...

All Pedro wanted was weeweechu

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's lo ok at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch...

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Know your homonyms

As teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."

She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to lea...

"Me llamo Pedro,"

said no Juan ever.

This joke is my uncle Pedro's 3rd favourite...

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the school formal. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. This also takes foreve...

Carlos is chilling with his baby brother, Pedro…

…and Carlos says, "¿Quieres escuchar una broma, Pedro?" *(Do you want to hear a joke, Pedro?)*

To which little Pedro replies, "¡Sí, por supuesto!" *(Yes, of course!)*

And Carlos says, "¿Está seguro?
Puede ser demasiado divertido..." *(Are you sure? It may be too funny…)*

"¡Q...

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I was siting at the bar trying to forget a bad day...

I was siting at the bar trying to forget a bad day when the barman asked me if I knew the Great Pedro. Well barman, let me tell you about my day first.

I was riding my donkey towards the town, minding my own business, when this huge fella coming in the other direction gestured me to stop.
...

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So there's these two friends named Bill and Jim.

Jim has Chihuahua and Bill has a German Shepherd. These two guys go for a walk with their dogs every Saturday evening. One Saturday, as they were passing a popular bar, Bill asked Jim if he wanted to go get a drink.

Jim replied, "Um Bill we have dogs lol we can't go in there fam."

To t...

What do you call a Mexican child molester?

A Pedrophile

A catholic soccer fan man goes to church before every match of his team

And he always prays to a Saint Peter statue and asks it for making his team won.

"Please San Pedro, if my team won this match, I swear I will give you $100".

And because his team is very good, they usually win every match, and the man always fulfill his word and bring the $100 and ...

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It's President's Day and Mrs. Rosewood was giving her students a bonus quiz...

Whoever could identify the president who said the famous quote would not have any homework that night.

"Alright, class. Who said "A house divided against itself cannot stand."?"
Lil' Johnny knew the answer, but wasn't the first to have his hand up. That was Jamal Jefferson.

"Was it...

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A Mexican man is throwing a Halloween party...

The only requirement was to come dressed as an emotion.

On the night of the party, Juan was the first to arrive. The host opens the door to see Juan dressed in all red. "Juan what are you doing? You were supposed to come dressed as an emotion!"
"I have" said Juan, "I'm red hot passion"...

Two Mexicans are lost in the desert...

Juan and Pedro running from the policía soon became lost in the desert for weeks, despite plenty of water, they were out of food!
With the sun beating down on them, things were looking grim...
"Juan, if we no find food soon we'll starve!"
"Si Pedro, the hunger hurts too much...!"
"Oh Ju...

The R saved his life...

his name was, Gary Pedro Crock.

Two Mexican men have just crossed the border into the U.S.

They are now wandering through the Arizona desert. In short time, they become lost amongst the sand, praying for any sign of civilization. They spend days out there, and are on the verge of death from heat and starvation.

When suddenly, a shining oasis appears before them. The water is crysta...

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump in a hot air balloon

Hilary invites Donald on a bury the hatchet secret meeting before the knives come out in the run up. A little while into the trip she springs a surprise on the other President hopeful..

" So Trump.. I would like you to say hello to our pilot, Pedro who happens to be Mexican, and my assistant,...

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