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Pearl Necklace Jokes

"Grandpa, tell us that story again about grandma's pearl necklace."

"Really? That old chestnut?

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find ...

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Two friends, Sarah and Kate, who haven't met in a while, run into each other.

Sarah: You know, my boyfriend bought me a Mercedes two weeks ago.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And yesterday, he gave me a pearl necklace.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And in a month, we are going on a three-week-long vacation on Hawaii.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: Thanks. But,...

Why was the CEO of Subway distraught when his teenage daughter walked around with a brand new pearl necklace?

She went to Jared's

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Three men get their wives birthday presents.

The first man, a lawyer, tells the other men “I got my wife a trip to the Bahamas and a pearl necklace. She loves pearls, so if she doesn’t enjoy the trip, I know she’ll like the necklace.”

The second man, a doctor, says “I got my wife a brand new 2017 BMW and a Louis Vuitton handbag she’s ha...

I dated a girl that has the same birthday as my mother once...

Let me tell you, you do not want to get those gifts mixed up! I got them both a pearl necklace.

My friend has a Thai girlfriend who is so generous

she gave him a pearl necklace.

What do you call survivors of brothel arson?

Pistachios



What does the shepherd call the sheep he just sold? Cashews

What’s another name for a pearl necklace? Chestnut

What’s on the other side of a gloryhole? Walnuts

What was the peeping Tom doing? Pecan



Please help me fill out my nut pun reper...

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Two guys are sitting at a bar discussing what they got their wives for Christmas

“I got Sheila a nice pearl necklace from that new jewelry store down the street. I think she’ll like it. What did you get Angie?”

“Well I got her two things this year. I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo.”

“Why’d you get her two things? Don’t you guys usually just do one?”

...

what did Santa get Mrs. Claus for Christmas?

a pearl necklace 'cause she's a ho ho ho

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What is Batman's least favorite Sex Act?

The Pearl Necklace.

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Good Girls, Bad Girls and Naughty Girls

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons
Naughty girls unbutton your pants


Good girls wax their floors
Bad girls wax their bikini line
Naughty girls wax your nutsack


Good girls blush during sex scenes ...

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In case she doesn't like her gift

3 High school friends are at a reunion.

Lawyer: For my wife's birthday this year I got her a pair of diamond earrings and two tickets to the Bahamas! If she doesn't like the earrings, she will definitely enjoy the holiday!

Surgeon: I bought my Wife a pearl necklace and a new convertibl...

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