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Pay Off Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is every American receiving a $1200 check?

Because Trump always pay off the people he's fucked.

My New Year's Resolution is to go to the gym more often, get into grad school, pay off my bills, and learn a new language.

I don't have a clue how I'm going to get all that done in two days

What do you call a college student who joined the paratroopers to pay off his student loans?

Debt from above.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Muslim families move from Afghanistan to the US....

The fathers in each family make a bet to see who could be more Americanized after one year.

They meet a year later and the first father says, "I just took my son to baseball practice, had McDonalds for breakfast and I've racked up more debt than I'll ever be able to pay off."

The seco...

How do you pay off a ton of debt in London?

£2,000

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a brothel

A man walks into a brothel one day and says to the woman: “I’m here to enjoy an evening with a young woman. Is this a fine establishment?”

The woman replies “oh absolutely! This is the finest establishment that you’ll find within a 300 mile radius!”

The man states “great! I have a 12 i...

A blonde wants to travel abroad.

She parks her car in front of a bank near the airport and gets out with her trolleys. She then enters the bank and walks to the next teller.

Blonde: Hello, I want to get a loan for $1000,-

Teller: Very well. But I need a credit security in order to grant you that loan.

Blonde: ...

A man buys a paint factory in a small town.

He visits the local volunteer fire department to see for himself if they'd be able to handle a fire at his plant. What he finds convinces him they could not...the whole fire department consists of one old pumper truck and a bunch of volunteers he finds less than reliable. He tells them "Boys, I'm so...

They weren't kidding when they said kids were expensive..

I was finally able to pay off my car loan after I sold my newborn.

Winning the lottery.

My friend Bob won a million dollars the other day so I asked him what will he do with his winnings?

Bob said "Probably pay off my credit card debt".

I said what about the rest of it?

Bob says "well I suppose it'll get paid off eventually".

One my Russian wife told me

Doesn't translate perfectly but still pretty funny.

Kid: Dad what would you do if you won a million dollars in the lottery?

Dad: Pay off debts.

Kid: What about the rest?

Dad: They can wait.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a dick and a Ferrari?

I’d only have to get plowed by a Ferrari once to pay off my student loans.

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks..

Then I could also pay off my college tuition without even having a summer job

Trump shutting down the border would be the best thing for millennials

Once the avocado market dries up they can finally pay off their student loans and buy a house

If I had 50¢ for every Math test I failed....

I still wouldn't have enough money to pay off my crippling student debt.

Smart Blond Joke

A very wealthy blond woman enters a bank in Manhattan and requests to take out a small loan, which she intends to pay off in two weeks.

She foregoes some of the paperwork for financials, instead offering her brand new Bentley as collateral.

The bank manager approves the loan, takes ...

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