Run Over Jokes - 57 Hilarious Run Over Jokes

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”

Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

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A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

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I've run over 20 marathons

Still can't get the blood completely off of my front bumper

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Got run over by a limousine this morning...

Took fucking ages.

My ex girlfriend got run over by a bus today

Today has just been horrible. I even lost my job as a bus driver.

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Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

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A married couple are driving home from a party one night, and they run over a badger..

They pull over, and realize the badger is still breathing but it's injured and freezing cold. The husband says "Put it between your legs to warm it up while we drive home." The wife replies "But it's all wet, and it smells disgusting!"

The husband says "Plug his fucking nose then!"

What is it called when you run over three disabled kids with your car?

Cripple kill.

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I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice. .

My gondolences

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What is it called when you run over a worm?

Vermicular homicide

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Did you hear that Herschel Walker tried to run over some kids and was arrested attempted vehicular manslaughter

In fairness, there was a sign "Drive like your kids live here".

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Recently got run over by a guy in a Tesla, thought he got away but:

He’s currently being charged with battery now

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What do you call a guy that's mad about his feet getting run over?

Lack-toes intolerant

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Someone's dog was run over by an automobile

Now its a car-pet

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Did you hear about the can of coke that got run over?

It was soda pressing

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Why did the driver run over the sidewalk?

He wanted to flatten the curb

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What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

*“Curses! Foil again!”*

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Did you know that when someone gets run over by a Tesla it isn't considered Vehicular Manslaughter?

They call it electric car battery!

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What do you call a shrimp that gets run over by a car?

Road Krill

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they get run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon.

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Why did the chicken get run over by a car?

The chicken wanted to go to the "other side"...

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The serial killer who used his car to run over people has finally been arrested

According to lawsuit analysts, he musthang.

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A woman is lying in the road after being run over.

The driver of the car that knocked her down comes to her aid.

"Are you all right?" he asks.

"You're just a blur," she says, "so my sight is clearly affected."

Concerned, the driver leans over the woman in order to test her eyesight.
"How many fingers have I got up?" he asks h...

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Every 15 minutes, a woman gets run over.

She's starting to get pissed.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

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Did you hear about the man who was run over by the police?

He was arrested under suspension of law.

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Did you hear about the cyclist who was run over while trying to outrace a car?

First he got tired, and then he got exhausted.

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Why did Helen Keller get run over by a train...

Because she was standing on the train tracks

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I just had my foot run over by a rental car...

...fucking Hertz!

Did you hear about the boy who survived being run over by a monster truck?

When reporters interviewed him at the hospital he was alert and said that he just felt very tired.

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Did you hear about the guy who was run over in a freak steamroller incident in a printing shop?

He made quite a splash across the headlines, but left a good impression on paper

Badoom pssshhh

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A friend of mine was run over by a red lorry,

then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.

When the policeman informed his family he said
"There's no easy way to say this"...

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I’m always getting run over by the same bike, same day every month, same place, month after month...

It's a seriously vicious cycle.

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What do you call a blue bird who’s got run over by a lawn mower?

Shredded tweet

I’ll show myself out

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[Long] There was a truck driver who loved to run over lawyers with his truck.

Every time the truck driver saw a lawyer walking by the road he would make sure to run them over with his truck. One day the truck driver saw a priest walking close to the road and thought he could do some good by offering the priest a lift. The priest was grateful for the offer as he had been walki...

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A man is driving past a farm when he runs over a rooster...

He feels bad about it, so he collects the rooster and goes to knock on the door of the farmhouse.

When the farmer opens the door, the man says, "I'm afraid I've run over your rooster, it was out in the road. I really do apologize, and I'm more than happy to replace him."

The farmer ha...

What did the crow say when his friend got run over by a hit and run driver?

Caw the Cawps!

Backstory - my daughter just woke up telling me about her nightmare - I was driving her down a road, and kept running over crows in the road, she would look back and would see crows mourning over their friends. We had to keep driving back and forth through the same road because...

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I lived with my friend who got run over

He was my flat mate.

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It is my sad duty to report the death of my granddad, who was run over by a boat whilst swimming in a canal in Venice...

Thank you to those of you who have already sent your gondolences...

A man was run over by a truck on his way to the movies

He didn't see the trailer.

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What's on a toast that got run over by a car?

Traffic Jam

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On Easter morning a man and his son run over the Easter bunny...

They hop out of the car and the son immediately says "Daddy! You killed the Easter bunny!"

The man thinks to himself and then says "Don't worry, I know exactly what to do."

He goes to the trunk of the car and produces a spray can. He shakes it up and sprays the dead Easter bunny with i...

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Did you hear about the deaf women getting run over by a train?

Neither did she

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A guy got run over by the PopeMobile yesterday.

I guess he didn't see the sign that said "Cross traffic does not stop."

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Officer: I'm sorry sir but it looks like your wife got run over by a truck

Officer: I'm sorry sir but it looks like your wife got run over by a truck.

Guy: I know but she has a great personality.

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A woman is run over by a man in his car. Who is at fault?

The man. You’re not supposed to drive a car in a kitchen.

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A man gets run over by a car. As he is losing consciousness he’s sees the light.

It was a second car

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What does a crab have in common with a Chinese guy who gets run over by a bus?

They're both crushed Asians.

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Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little shite, O'Conner," says Sean,

"He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,...

I really hope someone brings their cat to Mars only to get it get run over

So we can finally say Curiosity killed the cat.

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Big Burly Biker walks into a bar

He sees this tiny nerdy looking guy staring at his filled drink and decides he wants to mess with him. The Biker walks over takes the glass and slams the drink in one swig. At this the nerdy guy just starts bawling like a baby.

The Biker filled with remorse tells him to calm down an...

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A man enters a pub, walks up to have a seat at the bar, and then pulls out a three-inch tall leprechaun from his front shirt pocket to set it on the bar top.

The man looks at the bartender and says, "Yo, I'd like to get a beer for me and an Irish wine for my little pal here!"

The bartender returns with the drinks in short time. The man drinks his beer, the leprechaun drinks all the Irish wine from the bottle. Only for it to suddenly stop in ...

On an excursion, I decided to go swimming with the Dolphins. Unfortunately, one of them was run over by a boat and killed

I'm really going to miss Dan Marino

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What do you feel when you accidentally run over and kill a group of geese crossing the road?

Goosebumps

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Did you know a man gets run over by a car in New York City every five minutes?

Whoa, he should really get out of the road!

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My mate always said he wanted to be run over by a steam train when it was his time to die. He got his way...

I guess he was chuffed to bits.

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Why should you never run over a black kid on a bike?

Because it's probably your bike...

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