A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up.

"You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase." The Scotsman responds, "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare, just got on this vera moment."

They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged, and finally, as the bus is passing over Lon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet.

The little boy says, "It's dark in here."
The man whispers, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want...

Did you hear about the guy who left his phone charging overnight?

It overcharged, caught fire and burned the house down.

He was arrested on charges of battery.

Fact

I'd like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I'm not sure about you people, but I think we're being overcharged on...

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