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Opines Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A vampire walks into a bar...

A vampire walks into a bar and goes straight up to the bartender and asks for a large warm glass of blood. Luckily, it happens to be a bar that serves vampires and quick as a tick the bartender hands over a long glass of blood, to which the vampire slurps it down happily.

Sooner than later, a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three religious leaders are golfing.

After the fourth hole, they are told that they need to wait to continue in order to accommodate a group of blind golfers. [One religious leader] opines, "To see people overcoming their disabilities to do something they love truly demonstrates the compassion of [diety]." "It's wonderful to see that t...

A physicist, a biologist, a programmer, and a mathematician ....

are sitting at a café across from an empty building.

They observe two people enter and then, later, three leave.

The physicist says, "Apparently there was some error with our measurements."

The biologist says, "Obviously, they reproduced while in the building."

The math...

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