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Opined Jokes

My wife left for a business trip one morning.

And later that day our dog died. That evening, she called and asked how everything was and I told her, "The dog died!"

 

Crying into the phone she sobbed, "You could've broken the news to me gently!"

 

I asked her, "What should I have told you instead?"<...

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Medical experts in Washington DC today were asked if it is time to ease the COVID lockdowns.

Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve. Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while optome...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Classic Rocky and Bullwinkle pun

On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police.

There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town's leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered her...

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