Oli Jokes

Oly and Lena were driving to Minneapolis for their honeymoon. Oly put his hand on Lena's thigh and she said, "We're married now so you can go farder if you want."

So Oly drove to Duluth.

They had fished in this lake for decades, and they knew there were no more fish in the lake, but they went because they enjoyed going and getting away from their wives. After a while, a young kid came along and cut a hole in the ice under a tree, close to the shore. Sven and Oli looked at each other... read more

Sven went in and Oli stayed in the truck. Sven said to the lumberman, “I need a four-by-two”. The lumberman said, “Do you mean a two-by-four?”. Sven said, “let me ask my brudder”. Sven came back and said, “yup we need a two-by-four”. The lumberman said, “How long?”. Sven said, “huh?”. The lumberman... read more

One day Oli and Sven went out ice fishing. The started drilling into the ice and from above a voice boomed " there are no fish under the ice!"

Heeding the advice the duo moved about 20 Feet and started drilling again. Again the the voice boomed "there are no fish under the ice!"

Oli ... read more

A boy has brought his Grandpa Olie into class, to tell about some of his experiences as a pilot in World War II.

"Well," the old man begins, "I remember this one time, I was flying on patrol, when this one Fokker surprises me from behind!"

A few of the kids in the class start to snicke... read more

Olie is only given a few more hours to live. His wife Lena is right beside him. Olie says his last words to Lena. "After I die Lena, I want you to marry Sven Svenson". Lena is shocked. "But Olie, I thought you hated Sven Svenson". Olie takes Lena's hand and looks deep in to her eyes and says "yes, a... read more

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming. Sven complained of the costs of fertilizer, and Oli asked why he didn't just use the nightsoil from his outhouse? Sven said, "Ya, well I used to, but I really hate shoveling it all out."

Now, O... read more

So Olie gets pulled over by an officer of the law for running 100 mph through the middle of town with a pig in the passenger seat. The officer says "What in the world are you doing Olie? What's the hurry?" He says, "I"m just a trying to get dis here pig back to the farmer whose truck dis pig fell... read more

Olie dies and goes to hell where he meets the Devil. The Devil says to Olie "Is it hot enough for you Olie?". Olie responds "Well back in Minnesota in June it got alot hotter than this.". So, the Devil goes over and cranks the heat up, and says "Is is hot enough for you now Olie?". Olie says "Well b... read more

It’s called the Corgi-olis Effect.

Sven says, "Hey, Olie! Whatcha grinnin' about?"

Olie says, "I had a very nice date with Leena last night."

"Oh? Do tell!"

"Well, she picked me up in that new pick-up of hers and we went for a drive through the woods. After a spell, she pulled off the main road down this little p... read more

Barrack-oli

Olie went to the neighborhood dance, and he won the big door prize. It was a toilet brush. So he took it home.

A few days later some friends of Olie asked him "Hey Olie how is that toilet brush working out for ya."

Olie said "Oh it works real good but I prefer toilet paper."

Let’s edit all ethnic jokes to those who are not easily offended, like, for example, the Hittites. The Hittites are extinct, there are no more Hittites in existence, so can we just make all ethnic jokes about them?

For example, there were two Hittites, let’s name them, I don’t know, how... read more