Close Up Jokes - 6 Hilarious Close Up Jokes

Why did the masseuse have to close up his shop?

He kept rubbing people the wrong way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest is preparing to close up the church and head home

A priest is preparing to close up the church and head home, when a man enters the church, looking for him. Failing to recognize the man, the priest says,

"You're not from around here. Do I know you?"

The man replies, "Yes father! Years ago, I was a wayward teenager and you caug...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

CAN ADMINS OF THIS SUBREDDIT REDDIT DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN. SHE’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE SE AND OB...

What did the surgeon say to the patient who wanted to close up his own incision ?

Suture self

A bartender is about to close up for the night...

When a tramp walks in and asks for a toothpick. Confused, he agrees and tells him to get gone as he wants to get home. As one tramp leaves, another one enters and asks for a tooth pick. Again the bartender gives him one and tells him to leave. As this tramp he leaves another one enters and he shouts...

A new Russian "recruit" goes to the Armory to get his weapons.

The armorer looks around, and seeing there are no guns left, hand the soldier a broomstick.

"But Comrade!" complains the recruit. "The enemy have real guns! How will this help me?"

The armorer says to him, "Just point this at them and say 'Bang Bang Bang!' It will work."

"But ...

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