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Nudist Colony Jokes

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony

On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'

...

How do find the blind man at the nudist colony?

It's not hard.

I recently joined a nudist colony

The first few days were the hardest.

Two communists are sitting together at a nudist colony.

One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?” The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

Nudist colony

Q- How can you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony?
A- It's not hard.

Q- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A- The one carrying a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q- Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A- The one who can eat the la...

Did you hear about the girl in the nudist colony?

Nothing looked good on her.

My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony.

I was born ready.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most popular movie at a nudist colony?

Free Willy


I'm happy with thinking of this myself.

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts

A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony.

Police are looking into it.

Social distancing at a nudist colony

Is directly influenced by the tempture.
Warm days, 6'3"
Cold days less

Joey moves to a nudist colony

Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally ...

My lazy neighbor is retiring and joining a nudist colony...

...he said he just wanted a place where he could hang out.

I joined a nudist colony in Canada.

To be honest, I'm starting to get cold feet.

A dwarf was kicked out of a nudist colony

Apparently, he kept sticking his nose in everyones' business.

The nudist colony restaurant was so bad

Even the salad was undressed

I went to an all you can eat restaurant at a nudist colony in Canada

It was called In the Buffet

I think the local nudist colony just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."

How do you spot Ronald McDonald at a nudist colony?

He's the one with the sesame seed buns.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man checks out the local Nudist Colony to see if he wants to join

The clerk invites him to take a nude, self tour. He agrees and proceeds to go for his tour, completely naked, sporting only his cigar... not five minutes into his stroll he sees a beautifully shaped young lady in the buff which aroused him quickly... the young lady, noticing his erection decides to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gerrard and the nudist beach

Gerrard, a young Parisian stud, books himself a couple of weeks at a coastal nudist colony to work on the tan (and the ladies) but on his first day he realises his member looks like a milk bottle compared to the rest of his tanned, toned body - he doesn't believe in sunbeds and you can't exactly bat...

I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony.

I just imagined everyone with their clothes on.

A farmer was fed up with drivers speeding down the road where he lived, so he asked the police to put up a sign...

They put up a "Slow down, speed limit" sign - with no effect. Then, "Danger, road hazard!" sign was put up, but had no effect, either. Then the police tried a sign stating "Children crossing" - and still nobody slowed down.


Finally, the farmer asked the police if he could put up his own ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The nudest colony. NSFW. Long.

A man retired after over 30 years working for the Postal Service.

He decided that he was going to fulfill his lifelong desire to join a nudist colony.

After some research he found a nude beach that fit all of his criteria. On one beautiful Saturday he decided to go and visit. He arrive...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 60-year-old man goes to a nudist colony for a month. [NSFW]

He walks in and goes to the reception, hands in his clothes and the worker shows him his room.

Not long after there is a gorgeous woman at the door, and he immediately gets an erection.

The woman asks "are you calling for me".

The man says "no, no of course not".

The woma...

A little old lady told me this at work.

Who is the most popular male at a nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and 12 donuts.

And the most popular woman?

The lady that can eat the last donut without getting her hands sticky.

Farmer John

Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time
went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so
heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being
run over, at a rate of three to six a week.
So Farmer John called the local police station to complain,
"You...

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