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Norton Jokes

Girl, are you Norton Antivirus?

Because when you're running, I can't seem to do anything but watch.

I got a job working with Brad Pitt and Edward Norton

I think it’s a serious job considering I was told twice not to talk about it

Why did the enterprise version of Norton Security Firewall flop?

Because it was NSFW.

I really hate Norton’s security software...

...but please don’t call me anti-Symantec

skipping church

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally
beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he
told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass
for him that day.

As soon as the Associate ...

I don’t think Edward Norton play a good Frodo Baggins.

But Elijah Wood


*disclaimer* I tried to put this on r/dumbjokes but they’re unreasonably fickle.

Thor went out to an Asgardian bar one night...

And he meets this beautiful woman. They go home and spend the night with each other. The next morning when they wake up Thor says "You know I must tell you... I am Thor." The woman replies "You're Thor? I can hardly walk."


Stolen from Chris Hemsworth on The Graham Norton Show

I make over $1,000,000 a month cleaning windows...

I invented Norton Anti-Virus...

Alert! Widespread, paralyzing, life-consuming, pandemic virus!!

Norton.

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