UPJOKE
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Nonce Jokes

I'm in an age gap relationship.

I'm 40, she's 19.

Anyway, we went out for a meal, as soon as we walked in the restaurant people shot me dirty looks, then the whispering started "nonce", "pervert" "paedo.

My girlfriend got upset and we left.

Completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

I am disgusted by the youth of today....

Let me start by saying my girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. I am 39 and my girlfriend is 19, the amount of abuse I got from a group of teenagers inside the restaurant was nothing short of vile.....comments like “PEADO” “NONCE” “KIDDY FIDDLER”

It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary...

Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolate?

So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"

The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"

The Pope excla...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Morning Chat with the Neighbour

I came out my front door this morning to see my neighbour frantically trying to scrub off the word "nonce" that had been spray painted on his front window.

"What's been going on John?" I asked.

"Fucking Kids." Came his mumbled reply.

Dirty Bastard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Playgrounds in the UK have been fitted with advanced paedophile detection systems to help protect children

The company behind the technology has called it NonceSense™

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