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Nickle Jokes

Why did the blonde chew on nickles?

She heard she could become rich from bitcoin

If I had a nickle...

If I had a nickle for every time I did my math wrong, I'd have $387.23.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hear about the Buddhist monk who could shit nickles?

Because change comes from within...

If I had a nickle for every person that isn't attracted to me

I would suddenly be very attractive.

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars..

I still wouldn't give a shit.

Schrödinger's cat

There once was a cat in a pickle

Whose life was not worth a nickle

From an electron gun shot

It both was and was not

It's very existence is fickle

Key to success in life

One day a young man, confused and directionless in life, was walking in a park.

He sees a well-dressed and well-to-do old man sitting on a bench, feeding the birds and enjoying the scenery. He walks up to him and says, "Sir, you seem to have done well for yourself in life, do you mind telling...

How did the worst band in the world come up with their name?

After their first gig, the crowd was shouting that they wanted their nickle back.

How did they execute cheapskates in the middle ages?

They had them sketched and nickled

So my First ever joke on reddit, it starts with an immigrant to the United states.

An Italian immigrant to the US, just arrived to Ellis Island. Lucky for him is Uncle is a citizen and could sponsor his entry. His Uncle also owned a fruit cart business in New York City. The young Italian knew no english when he arrived, so his Uncle taught him three phrases to aid him in selling...

A very wealthy man goes in a New Your bank and loans $10, leaving his Rolls Royce for collateral.

He then goes on a trip overseas, and returns a month later. He immediately goes to the bank, pays the $10 plus 5 cents interest, and turns to leave.

The president of the bank can't contain himself, and rushes up to the man to ask "Why did you borrow $10 when you're so rich? And why leave a ...

A monk practiced levitation meditation for 20 years!

One day the monk gear that Buddah was coming to town. So he ran to town and exclaimed to buddah "I have practiced levitation meditation for 20 years and now i can walk on water." Buddah looked at the man and said " yeah, but the ferry boat is only a nickle".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two blondes go camping

After a few hours, 1 blonde says she needs to take a poop, but they forgot to walk with toilet paper. The second blonde says " do you have a dollar? " yes, says the first blonde. Well you can use that to wipe, replied the second blonde.

After a few minutes, the first blonde emerges from th...

A man walks into a music store.

A man walks into a music store to buy a record for his father. As he approaches the counter with his record he notices that the clerk has put out Nickelback CDs next to the register with a tag thats reads "CD special, $0.05 no returns."

The man looks at the clerk and says " $0.05 for a Nickel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old couple were driving down a country road

henry, sees a sign… "cow for sale $5,000 dollars."

Martha, he says, there`s no damn way any cow is worth $5,000 dollars.

So he turns around, "i`ve got to talk to this farmer".

"Mister", he says, "there`s no goddamn way any cow is worth $5,000 dollars".

"This one is", repl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men were playing golf...

They're on the 18th hole and the first one says to the other "Hey man, I think I need to go back to the club house. I've never had to shit this bad in my life." The other one says "Come on, were almost done. You can wait for one more hole." The first guy says "No. I cant wait. I realllllllyyy have t...

A man walks into a bar...

He tells the bartender "get me a beer, get a beer for yourself, and a beer for everyone else in the bar."

The bartender smiles and does as he asked. Then the bartender told the man that it would be 62.50 for all the beers.

The man smiled at the bartender and said, "I ain't got no mon...

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