### An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first orders a mug, the second a half, the third a quarter, and so on. The bartender pours them 2 whole mugs and says, "sort it out yourselves."

### How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times........

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The barten...

### A group of mathematicians were recently caught for robbing,

According to the police reports, their days were numbered.

### How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. It's left to the reader as an exercise.

### Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

This might be the nerdiest joke I know. Here's a bonus mathematical nerd joke:

Why don't riddles work in octal notation?

Because seven ten eleven.

### What do mathematicians often ask themselves?

"Step-function, what are you doing?"

### Two physicists and two mathematicians are invited to a conference at university

(You may think you’ve heard this before but I’ve got a twist on the ending)

The four guys meet up and find a train to the conference.

At the train station, the physicists buy two tickets each, but the mathematicians only buy one.

They board the train and begin talking, but when...

### An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

It takes forever.

### Did you hear about the mathematicians who got a divorce?

There were irreconcilable differences and one was a functioning alcoholic

### Did you know that the first ever musicians were also mathematicians?

Their music was based off log-rhythms

### Why don't mathematicians get constipated?

They just work it out with a pencil.

### An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.

The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.

The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.

The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines hims...

### So there were 3 Mathematicians and 3 Engineers...

... and they were all traveling to the same conference. At the train station, the mathematicians each bought a train ticket, and the engineers only bought one to share between the three of them.

"What a bunch of idiots," the mathematicians said. "When the ticket master comes through, they'll ...

### A group of mathematicians walks into a bar

The bartender asks, "what can I get you guys?"

The first mathematician replies, "I'll have a beer."

The second mathematician replies, "I'll have a half of a beer."

The third replies, "I'll have a fourth of a beer."

The fourth replies, "I'll have an eighth of a beer." ...

### 3 mathematicians walk into a bar

The bar tender asks the first, hey do you 3 want a drink, he responds “I’m not sure”
The bar tender asks the second, hey do you 3 want a drink, he responds “I’m not sure”
The bar tender, frustrated, asks the third do you 3 want a drink, he responds “yes we do”

### Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

### Why are mathematicians always so happy?

Because the root of their negativity is imaginary.

### To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero...

Thanks for nothing.

### Mathematicians tend to avoid sunlight

Cos tan is a sin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Maths debating

### Why do mathematicians make up for bad war generals?

They only take pride in numbers.