Heard about the guy who invented window sills?

What an absolute Ledge.

What do you call two guys sitting on a Window Sill?

Kurt n Rod

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A Morning Poem

I woke early one morning, The  earth lay cool and still. When Suddenly a tiny bird perched upon my window sill, He sang a song so lovely, so carefree and so gay, that slowly all my troubles began to slip away.   He sang of far off places, of laughter and of fun, it seemed this very trilling, bro...

My friend asked if I knew what kind of sweater he was wearing.

I said I had no idea, he said "Guess."

"Hollister?"

"No. Guess."

"North face?"

"No... Guess"

I sill don't know.

An old mafia boss was at the end of his life

He knew he didn't have much time left to live and he was getting worried about where he might end up after his death if he did not get absolution for his sins. He had been a very evil person and he knew that any old village priest would not be able to do the job so instead he arranged a meeting with...

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Dan returns home from work when he finds his wife in bed with another man

He locks them in the bedroom from outside while he tries to calm himself down and figure out what to do in the situation. He ultimately decides that while he may eventually forgive his wife, he cannot let the man go and so Dan decides to beat the shit out of him. He steps into the storeroom for a mi...

There was three people approaching the gates of heaven But there was only one place left

The gate keeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go inn. The first man said: "Well imagine that I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel round her so I knew she wasn't hav...

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A man sleeps with the farmer's daughter...

He wakes up with a cinder block on his chest and a note: Farmers Revenge 1 of 3: Cinder block on chest.

The man scoffs, and throws the block out the window. As it falls, he notices the second note on the window sill: Farmers Revenge 2 of 3: Cinder block tied to right testacle.

Without ...

Sarah is a girl who was born with no body. No arms, no legs, not even a torso. Nothing below her neck.

In a major medical accomplishment, doctors develop a set of very small devices to function as her internal organs and install them in her neck. These keep her fully functional with exception of being able to walk or manipulate objects as if she had arms or legs.

Once she is released from the ...

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Three men arrive in heaven..

Three men arrive in heaven at the same time and St. Peter comes out to greet them.

"Sorry about this guys" St Peter says, "God didn't realise how many people would get into heaven, so we have a new policy. You now have to tell me the story of how you died, and if i think it's sad or interesti...

Three men approached the gate to heaven.....

Three men approached the gate to heaven and as there was only one opening left, the gatekeeper said that whoever had the most remarkable and worthy death could enter. He asked the first man how he died, and the man replied, "Imagine this -- I suspected my wife was having an affair behind my back and...

Wife is going into labor

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labour.
As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father.
They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine.
The doctor s...

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A man moves to New York and needs to get his clothes drycleaned...

He finds an advertisement for a drycleaners owned by a "Paul O'Sullivan." To his surprise, once the man arrives, he finds the store to be owned by a Chinese man, the owner had set up Chinese lanterns across the window sill, he had a clear Chinese accent, and wrote down his notes in Chinese. The man ...

A woman gave birth to a child who had no body.

Her son was just a head. When the child was eight years old, he would sit on the window sill everyday, watching the other kids play football. He would ask his mom everyday, "Can I play football with the other children?" His mom always had the same reply: "You can't play football because you don't ha...

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Three men die and are waiting to see St Peter

As they wait in line, they decide to pass the time by telling stories of how they died.

The first man said "So there I was, walking home from work when I saw my wife through the window of my apartment with another man. I've been suspecting her of cheating for some time but now I finally had p...

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The woman at the nightclub.

A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night, her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom, and when the guy walks in the door he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds o...

Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Jim was suspicious that his wife had been cheating on him. He took off from work early to see if he could catch her in the act. Driving up to his apartment Jim caught a glimpse through an open window of a strange man walking around in his dining room. Now convinced his wife has been unfaithful, J...

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