Why is it so hard to break into a Jewish person's house?

They always put on extra lox.

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?

You Put a Lox on it!



\-Somewhere in the distance my children are shaking their heads and telling everyone to excuse their non hilarious mother-

A German man on his first trip to America decides to see New York City.

As he's wandering around the smell of corned beef and fresh baked rye bread draws him into a Kosher deli. The man sits at the counter, eyes the menu and says, "I vood like to try ze bagel and ze lox." In a thick accent.

On his first bite he's throughly enjoying his food and pipes up to the gu...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Two old men discuss their sex lives. (Long)

Mort and Saul meet every two weeks in the park and one day Mort says so, how's with you? Saul says Not so good, my sex life is not so good. What's wrong Mort asks. I haven't had sex in a long time Saul says. To which Mort says you should go see this hooker I know and ask for the bagel treatment. Wh...

How do you prevent someone from stealing your bagel?

You put lox on it!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why canโ€™t you put Jews in jail?

Because they eat lox

I found this cool charity that lets you donate brined salmon to those in need.

Lox of Love

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

You know why they can't keep any Jews in prison?

They eat lox

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