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Light Pole Jokes

Last night Philadelphia residents climbed light poles, flipped over cars, and set dumpsters on fire

Then things really got out of hand when they learned the Eagles won the Super Bowl

A blind guy walks into a bar

... a light pole, a bench and a parked car

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s 1 in the morning and a drunk bar patron decides it’s time to go home.

He gets up off his barstool and immediately faceplants.

“Oh, holy crap. I’m drunker than I thought!”

He pulls himself up with the barstool, lets go, and faceplants again.

“Shit!”

He crawls to the front door. He tries pulling himself up with the door knob and door frame. O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A taxi driver picks up a woman from the airport who sits in the back as a passenger

The woman wanted to ask a question so she leans forward and taps the driver’s shoulder to get his attention.

The driver gets startled so bad that he loses control of the cab, nearly hits a bus, swerves to barely dodge a light pole and finally halts near a glass bus stand.

The woman an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old bosnian joke my dad told me.

Theres a man named haso and its his first day on the job as a taxi driver and he just picked up a tourist
as they're driving around the tourist sees a building that he thinks is absolutely beautiful
the tourist gently reaches forward and taps haso on the shoulder and haso spins the car out of ...

An Indian farmer is speaking to a farmer from Texas...

The Texan asked "How large is your farm?"
The Indian replied, "See that light pole? My farm is about from where standing to there. How about yours?"
The Texan nodded and said, "If you wake up at the crack of dawn and you begin to drive, and you drive and drive and drive, at about noon, you wi...

Something for that cough

The pharmacist needed a short break from the register so he left his son in charge: “just put on the coat and act like you know what you are doing. Ring up the sales as listed. What ever you do, DO NOT give anyone advice. I’ll be back soon”

After a few minutes, a man approached the “pharmac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The local hot shot had never lost a drag race.

He had a souped up little dragster he pieced together himself. It was an old Honda, sure, but this guy had tuned it to perfection. Not only that, he'd squeezed every ounce of horsepower out of it possible: straight pipes, turbo, the works.

There's a straightaway on a back road where all the l...

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