Light Beer Jokes

You gotta tie the bottles down otherwise they float away.

(Steven Wright inspired this one)

The officer said " you've been swerving all over the road, have you had anything to drink?"
"Yes" I answered, "but only two light beers"
As he saw the two empty kegs in the back he said "those don't look like two light beers!"
I replied "perhaps you should work out, they're only about 16 ki... read more

The other astronomer replies: “Approximately 6.5 light beers”

A guy walks into a bar and orders a light beer. "How's your New Year's diet coming along?" the bartender asks. "It's going okay, but I'm not losing as much as my buddy Joe. He went on that new Dolly Parton diet," the guy says. "It's made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean."

A new father was driving his wife and new-born home from the hospital the other day. The wife had fallen asleep in the front seat, exhausted from the delivery, so the new dad figured he had better take advantage of this. He decided to celebrate with a quick trip to the drive-through beer store.
... read more

Bartender says "Oh not you again!"

"Yeah it's me, set me up"

"Usual light beer?" says the bartender.

"Of course, bring on the puns"

Lady at the bar "So your the famous blackhole we have been hearing so much about and that you know the answer to every joke"

Blackhol... read more

A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders a beer and a light beer for his talking dog. The bartender stairs at him, says "yeah, right" and the dog says "seriously, make it a Bud Light". The bartender is amazed.

Pretty soon the owner has to break the seal and ask the bartender to watch ... read more