1939 A Jewish man was sitting in the New York Metro reading a german newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be in the same subway , noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him and said:
'Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading a nazi newspaper?'...
I think something went wrong during my laser eye surgery.
I can see just fine, but I can't figure out how to shoot the lasers
What sounds do lasers make in a church?
Pew pew pew!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest.
The art teacher shows the others a giant clay sculpture of a dog he made. “This thing took me nearly a month to make.” He said. “Clearly this proves that I’m the smartest.”
The math teacher just laughs at him. “That’s nothing” she says. She then pulls out a huge 1’000 question math test which...
Who‘s gonna win the Euro 2020 finale?
Depends on how many lasers the crowd brings
Star Wars and Giant Space Lasers
Still a better love Story than twilight
A group of movie producers are working on the next avengers/MCU movie
Producer 1: Does anyone have any ideas for the villain?
Producer 2: Ok, how about a 14 foot tall, flaming eye-ball, with poison swords for arms, who shoots lasers from his feet, and has a pet llama made of diamonds
Head producer: You’re over-thinking this, let’s just keep it low-key
A farmer got an idea for how to make money off his farm in the off-season.
He had a huge property all bounded by a big, white fence end to end. Along that fence was an old country road where few people drove.
He decided he would set up a Christmas light display like he'd heard about others doing. It took him some time to gather all the lights necessary, but eventual...
A supervillain and his henchman are sitting in the control room in the supervillain's volcanic lair.
Suddenly alarms start going off all over the place.
Supervillain: "What the heck is going on? Are the sharks with lasers loose again? Is it the IRS? Is there a leak in the reactor?"
The Henchman looks behind him to see a chair melting into the ground. "No, sir, the flaw is lava."
What's the similarity between kids and tattoos
They are both permanent and can be removed with lasers.
Cats and girls
A cat chasing lasers is like me chasing girls. I never get em.
The Art Thief
The Art Theif
A French man goes into the Louvre’s parking with his van. He gets out and goes inside. He sneaks pass guards, gets through barbed wire, avoids lasers and in front of him there is the Mona Lisa. He takes it and manages to get back to his van. When he goes into his van and leaves ...
You can tell a lot about a person by their house
Peeking in through the windows Recording their every move Listening in with lasers Yep, you can tell a lot about someone by their trash Or behind a bush