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Precision Jokes

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

Determination. Precision. Focus. Accuracy.

All attributes I have while shaving my pubes that I should really put into other aspects of my life.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between the Japanese precision aerobatic team, and the Rockettes?

The Japanese precision aerobatic team are known for their cunning stunts.

Why is Mike Tyson so interested in measurements in precision machining?

It's in tenths

If there was a competition for precision...

I'd come sixty seventh.

What did the teacher call the Asian Kid who was known for his precision in math?

Exact Lee.

We did our company Christmas party online this year and my coworkers were surprised at my incredibly detailed tattoo. They refused to believe me when I told them it was done in Madrid, before the pandemic...

Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My history teacher told me a joke about WW2 today...

If you have unknown troops in front of you and you want to find out who they are, fire a few rounds in their direction.

If you are met with precision machine gun fire, they’re German.

If you are met by a volley of precision rifle fire, they are British.

If they surrender, they’r...

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Tattoo

A man wanted to get a tattoo. The only issue was, the tattoo was an devilishly intricate design. He went to his local tattoo parlor, only to get turned away as the artist was not skilled enough. He tried again in a busy parlor in the middle of a nearby city, only to be told it was too difficult once...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A toothpaste factory had a problem.

They sometimes shipped empty boxes
without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the
buyers and distributors. Understanding how important the relationship with
them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to
hire an external engineering ...

I let some of my friends use my high quality printer from Spain.

When I told them where it was from, they all gasped in shock. Because no-one expects the Spanish ink precision!

In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business.

Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

There once was a man in prison

Who performed his own circumcision

With cigarettes he paid

And got his own blade

What he shoulda bought was better precision.

Archery

When asked what they are aiming for,

A newbie will say precision,

A pro will say grouping,

And dads will say "the target."

The crowd was tense with excitement as the final three Samurai faced off;

After a long day of competing it was the final round of competition to find who was indeed the master swordsman.

In a final challenge the three men had to show their prowess and concentration by slicing the finest of targets, a mere fly.

The first Samurai steps up to the stage a fly is...

What do you call a group of statisticians?

A precision.

CIA assessment center

After the standard round of interviews, a good dozen of applicants sit before the director of the CIA office.

"Trust is central to our business, ladies and gentlemen. Still, intelligence, precision and punctuality are nearly as essential. So, to the test: You have an envelope with a coded add...

13,700,000,007

A man asks the worker at the astronomy museum how old the universe is. He responds 13.7 billion and 7 years old.

The man is puzzled how the worker knew the age to such precision. The worker answered, “When I got this job, the person who hired me told me that the universe is 13.7 billion years...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

About an inch

The UN is in session and the three major superpowers, the US, Russia, and China are trying to out do each other's achievements.

The US says "we have a missile that could reach any point on Earth with amazing precision and destroy it."

Everyone else starts chattering in disbelief and t...

Three different types of engineers are debating which of their fields God must have worked in

A mechanical engineer speaks first. "Look at the joints, look at the tendons and ligaments, look at how strong our bones are. God was clearly a mechanical engineer."


An electrical engineer chimes in. "Are you kidding me? Look at the nerves, look at the way our brain can fire off a c...

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