You have to be from Hong Kong to get this joke.

My dad's coworker, Joachim, was applying for a visa to travel to America at the U.S. Consulate in Hong Kong. The immigration officer interviewing him ask where in the U.S. he was planning to stay.

"San Jose" , he answered.

The immigration officer corrects him that in the U.S. they pr...

I just watched Godzilla Vs. Kong, it was awful...

...One could even say it’s Monstrous

Did you guys hear the next King Kong movie will star Lady Kong?

Apparently it'll be a rom-kong

The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 160 days, proving the country does not belong to China.

Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.

An explorer spent weeks scouring the jungles of Skull Island, hoping to see the legendary King Kong. One day, when he was all but certain that it was nothing but a myth, he came to a clearing - and right there before him, sitting pensively, was the imposing figure of King Kong...

The explorer glared at King Kong in awe, and approached him slowly. King Kong seemed to be quite passive, so the explorer slowly reached out and shyly touched him. But as soon as he made contact with the gorilla’s fur, King Kong went berserk. He immediately rose to his feet, began beating his chest ...

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Why do the Hong Kong police like to show up to work early?

They like to beat the crowds.

Edit: WTF is wrong with you people?
I know dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old but, 2 shiny bottle caps?? NO!! Send that money to the protesters, or groups helping them, in Hong Kong.

Edit 2:
Add edit to first comment.
Also he...

What do you call King Kong with a gun

Sir

Did you see that movie about Kong, the giant ape?

The plot was pretty bananas.

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The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 120 days, proving the country does not belong to China

Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.

How old is a Hong Kong kid born in 1997?

Today is his 50th birthday.

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-pong and died, what would they put on his coffin?

A lid.

Why do the Hong Kong police get up early in the morning?

To beat the crowds.

What happened in Hong Kong this week?

According to Beijing, it's as calm as a June Summer's day in Tiananmen Square.

I think Hong Kong is the next big player in the fashion world.

Mask were very in during the protests last year. Now everyone's wearing one.

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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.

What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.

Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Ha...

Did ya hear about Donkey Kong’s Asian cousin, Viet Kong?

He specializes in Gorilla warfare

Did you see the news about the fight that broke out when they played the wrong national anthem for the winning team at the Asian table tennis finals?

The headline read "Hong Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding Dong".

What does the "F" in Hong Kong stand for ?

Freedom

Why are Hong Kong police always the first ones in the public square?

They get there early to beat the crowds.

Whats the difference between a nuclear-ravaged wasteland and Hong Kong?

The amount Xi has been drinking.

Divorced after 45 years.

An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says,

"I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells.

"We can't ...

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My dick is like Hong Kong

It’s hard to control even when I beat it

What's the difference between Hong Kong Protestors and Redditors?

Protestors do not tolerate censorship.

A Joke from Hong Kong

Recently the Hong Kong Government has announced that all police will have to travel in groups of three:

One cop knows how to read,

The second knows how to write

And the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Gotta respect the people of Hong Kong for standing up and fighting the power. Can you imagine what life would be like under a dictatorship?

Can you imagine what life would be like under a dictatorship? They could let 1% of the people have the vast majority of the nation’s wealth. They could ignore the needs of the poor for health-care and education. They could help their rich friends get richer by cutting their taxes and bailing them ou...

What do IKEA and Hong Kong have in common?

No peaceful assembly

What's the Hong Kong police's favorite pop group?

The Beatles.

Why was Donkey Kongs corpse smelling?

It was beginning to DK

What does Hong Kong Phooey call the coronavirus?

The Kung Flu.

A man walks into a bar, and sees King Kong having a drink...

Now, the man loves all of Kong's films, so he decides to walk up to him. He says, "wow! King Kong! I'm such a big fan. Sorry to bother you, but do you have time for a photo? "

King Kong suddenly looks up, checks his watch.

He turns to the man and says "sorry, I've a plane to catch".

In Hong Kong harbor, a ship carrying red paint collided with a freighter carrying purple paint

Reports say both crews are marooned

Just ordered Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken from my local takeaway

4 police officers delivered it and fired tear gas through my front door.

I cannot understand why they don’t call the riots in Hong Kong

Tiananmen²

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No matter how much I love freedom and democracy, I know I can never stand with the Hong Kong protesters again.

The CCP broke my fucking legs

What would China respond with regards the recent Hong Kong protests?

Tank you!

The Chinese government finally says "Free Hong Kong"*

*With purchase of an American industry of equal or greater value.

The Hong Kong protestors are not really accepting of the police’s new message.

Apparently some have even taken it to heart.

A Hong Kong citizen goes to the doctor to see if he's depressed

The doctor tells him he is not depressed but instead oppressed by the Chinese government

Free Hong Kong Tee Shirts are okay I guess...

I doubt that I'd ever *buy* one though

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There was a man who recently started dating an extremely attractive woman

Soon he found out that he was required to spend 3 weeks in Hong Kong for work. He thought to himself "Damn, I'm going for 3 weeks and knowing the needs of my girlfriend, I'm sure she'll cheat on me".

He decides to go to a sex shop so that he could buy something with which his girlfriend could...

Apparantly part of a Hong Kong politician's ear was bit off.

I'm glad Mike Tyson is giving his all to these protests

Why did Donkey Kong go to the dentist?

He had tooth DK

Whats the top most request DJs in Hong Kong are getting

Clubbed to death

As chosen by voters, Germany's Berlin Zoo named their two newborn pandas "Hong" and "Kong".

Upon hearing the news, China reacted fiercely and decided to withdraw all pandas from every country back to mainland China. It was a logistical nightmare⁠ to bring all the pandas back—it was pandemonium.

If King Kong ever went to China, he'd be called

Ching Chong

Remember the Hong Kong 2019 protests?

Neither do we

-The Chinese government 10 years later

Why did Hulk Hogan and Donkey Kong meet at the same time?

They were both in court for copyright claims filed against them.

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The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?

He had a plane to catch

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Honk Kong Dong

Bill had just returned home from a sales convention in Hong Kong. He spent his days at the convention and his nights in the Red Light district, and was now suffering from a painful and inflamed penis. He hurried to the doctor, who diagnosed it as the Hong Kong Dong and told Bill he would have to hav...

Where do monkeys go to get their fast food?

Burger Kong.

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An aging emperor was unsure how to divide his kingdom amongst his three sons...

After thinking on it for awhile he decided he didn't want to break up his empire and devised a plan to choose a successor. So he brought his sons before him and told them his plan.

"My sons, to determine who will inherit my empire I will send you all out on a quest. You must go out into the w...

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A class of high school art students are broken into groups...

...and tasked with making silly and creative paintings combining culture with food.

One group decides to paint an Indy race car made out of roti. Another group decides to paint a business suit necktie being grated into cheese. Another group paints Donkey Kong serving up a creepy bowl of banan...

"China reports no new coronavirus local infections!" says a Chinese national to random strangers on the Internet

"But Hong Kong and Taiwan are still reporting in new cases" replied the random guy on the Internet.

"No… Hong Kong and Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…"

What do you get when King Kong sits on your best friend?

A Flat Mate.

What do you get when you cross King Kong with a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia

They've got internet for vehicles in Hong Kong too...

They call it Wong Kar-Wai fi.

What do you get when you cross King Kong and a pickle?

Ron Burgundy.


Perhaps you've heard of him, he's kind of a big dill.

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I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

If Great Britian leaves the EU then it will be like its own Hong Kong

Owned by the British, surprisingly prosperous for its size, and desperately longing to be white.

what is the goose's favorite city?

honk kong

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They've discovered King Kong was indeed heterosexual...

...it was booty that killed the beast.

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A man walks into the doctor's with an awful rash on his penis

The doctor asks if the man had been overseas recently, to which the answer was yes (he had just returned from a holiday in Asia).

The Doctor says "I'm sorry to tell you that you have Hong Kong Dong and your penis needs to be removed."

The man was shocked and extremely upset.
He left...

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It’s ironic that China doesn’t want us calling it “Chinese Coronavirus”.

They lay claim to just about about everything else even vaguely related to them: Tibet, Taiwan, Hong Kong, every tiny island for about 5,000 miles in any direction...

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The King of all the gorillas was having a yard sale

The king of all the gorillas, mister Kong, was having a yard sale. He decided to sell his items collected over the years of roaming in the forests. He had been lowering his sale prices over the course of the day as fewer and fewer people were coming by.

Finally, one passer by came to buy his...

I’m a Chinese goose

Hong Kong

Herd Immunity’s Victory

Hong Kong showed the world how to actively contain the virus.

Italy showed the world how one fails to contain the virus.

India showed the world how anybody can contain the virus.

Boris Johnson showed the world that the virus does not need to be contained.

What do you call a city filled with protesting geese?

Honk Kong

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A king looking for a knight to marry his daughter

A king is trying to find someone to marry his beautiful daughter and sets up a quest to who can find the most ping pong balls in all the land. Three knights set out on this adventure. A few days later the first knight arrives with 27 ping pong balls. The next knight comes in shortly after and has 54...

China Two Party System

Taiwan and China

Signed, Hong Kong

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Chinese prostitute

A guy went to China and while there he met a very exotic woman who he ended up having sex with him. While it was the best sex he ever had, his penis started itching and then started to swell. When he got back to the States, he went to his urologist. By then it was turning purple black and was very ...

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I once attended a 50s music themed table tennis festival in a far east country, hosted by an Asian dictator where all the participants were dressed as famous movie gorillas...

It was Kim Jongs Honk Kong Honky Tonk King Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong

I'll see myself out.

What do you call an ape with a fetish?

Kink Kong

Where ya bin?

trashman knocks on the back door of an Asian restaurant.

The proprietor comes out

Trash man says: ‘where’s ya bin’

Asian proprietor says: ‘I bin to Hong Kong’

Trash man says: ‘no... where’s ya wheelie bin?’

Asian proprietor: ‘I wheely bin to hong kong’

Trash...

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There was once an ancient Chinese Emperor...

... This emperor had a young and beautiful daughter. One day he realized he was growing quite old, and there is a high chance he would soon die. When he died, there would be no man to take care of his daughter. So he set up a task for anyone in his empire. The person who brought him the most pin...

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Ping Pong Balls

Four friends are driving down the road when suddenly they see this beautiful girl out in the middle of a cornfield.

They approach the girl in their truck and decide to get out. They start flirting with the girl, talking over each other so they can win her over when suddenly an old beat down ...

A gorilla came to my house and rang the bell

*King kong!*

Did y'all hear about the accident during the Kowloon Percussion Festival?

There was a tamtam ensemble that was playing a piece, and one of the instruments fell off its stand and rolled into the crowd, injuring a few people.

Headlines were "Hong Kong Gong Song Gone Wrong"

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Chuck Norris Facts!

-can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it.

-can make scissors beat rock.

-when he's looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough
to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

-can unscramble eggs.

-counted t...

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"The dangers of smoking"

A man is standing outside in the "smoking zone" of an airport on a freezing cold January morning, smoking one last cigarette before his 16 hour, non-stop flight to Hong Kong for a business trip.

Another man walks up to him and says "do you have any idea how bad that is for you? Don't you know...

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