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Kidney Stones Jokes

A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!”

“Well you’ve come to the right place.” says the bartender, “What’ll it be?”

The man replies “One water please”

“Just a water??”

“Yeah, I have kidney stones.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had to have kidney stones removed so to prepare for surgery…

I wrote “I was in the pool!” on a sticky note an stuck it to my penis

(Navy Joke) why do chiefs hate kidney stones ?

It clogs the P ways

Chuck Norris passed 6 kidney stones.

Thanos used them in the Infinity Gauntlet.

How do you know kidney stones are worse than pregnancy?

After a a kidney stone, nobody says “let’s have another”

I passed my kidney stones with flying colors!

But mostly red.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend asked me if I wanted to buy his kidney stones.

I said that's a hard pass.

I've had kidney stones for my entire life and it seems that they'll always be there forever

They're infinity stones

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the doctor say to the patient with kidney stones?

Urine trouble but it'll pass.

Some people had a pet rock when they were younger...

All I got was kidney stones!

A man goes to doctor

Man: Why did you take my kidney out?
Doctor: You had kidney stones
Man: Then why didn't you take the stones out instead?
Doctor: I can't sell the stones

My girlfriend likes golden meteor showers

(I have kidney stones)

Father Dave took a seat on the A train in NYC...

and was disgusted to see a drunk sitting across from him. The disheveled smelly man was wearing a t-shirt with a photo of a naked lady on it and he reeked of alcohol. The drunk stared at the priest for a few minutes and then blurted out "Father, what causes migraines and kidney stones?" THe priest g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a restaurant to drink wine.

When the waiter comes he orders a 1980 wine. The waiter goes to the kitchen, there are almost every type of wine there but can't find a 1980 wine. So he brings a glass of 1970 wine to the customer.
The customer takes a sip from the glass and he says
"This a 1970 wine, go bring me a 1980 wine...

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