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Italian Mafia Jokes

A Russian mobster goes to meet Italian mafia

As soon as Italians notice him, they scoff. "You're not real gangster."

"Why not?" the Russian asks.

"Do you own a 4 story mansion?"

"Well, no."

"How many limousines you own?"

"Limousines? None."

"And where is your solid gold necklace?"

"I, I do not ...

Where does the Italian mafia live?

In the spaghetto

Did you know that Jesus was with the Italian Mafia?

It’s true! His dad was the Godfather.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are a vagina and the Italian mafia similar?

One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit.

The Italian Mafia makes you an offer you can't refuse.

The Glaswegian Mafia makes you an offer you can't understand.

An italian mafia man got in to a Mercedes-Benz model taxi

As he was sitting in the back, he asked the driver: "why is that hood ornament sticking out like that in mercs?"
The driver answered jokingly: so it would be easier to aim when driving over pedestrians. See that old lady crossing the road over there?" driver started to acclerate towards her and ...

Did you hear about the actor who only won an award because of the Italian mafia?

It turns out they really know how to rig a Tony.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Italian mafia boss hired a deaf accountant, Guido, and after a while he found out his accountant stole 10 million from him.

He goes to pay Guido a visit with his lawyer that knew sign language and to get him to talk where he hid the money.
 He tells the lawyer to translate, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?" Guido replies, "I have no idea what you're talk...

What do you get when you cross the Russian Mob with the Italian Mafia?

Killed.

Mafia florists

Some Italian mafia members own a florist shop in a city. Theirs is the only florist is the area, and so they control most of the flower business in the area.

One day, however, another florist shop opens up across the street. Afraid for their business, the mafia send one of theirs to rustle th...

Mafioso

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he
called his grandson to his bed.
"Grandson I wanna you lisin to me.
I wanna for you to take my chromeplated 38...
revolver so you will always remember me."
"But Grandpa I really don't like guns so how
about you leaving me your Rolex watch ins...

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