UPJOKE
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Invading Jokes

Russia is invading Finland

During the invasion a Russian general and his troops come to a hill.

They hear a voice shouting: "One Fin can beat ten Russians!"

The general laughs about it and sends ten of his troops to go kill whoever is on the other side of the hill. There is alot of noise and shooting and after ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The year is 1939, and the USSR is invading Finland.

The Soviet army is marching through the Finnish swamps when they hear shouting from the other side of a nearby hill:

"I bet one Finn can beat ten Soviets!"

The Soviet officer laughs at this and sends ten of his best soldiers to deal with this guy. After a couple of minutes of shooting ...

One of my friends told me I make people uncomfortable by often invading people's personal space

I found this really hurtful, it completely ruined our bath

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Female aliens are invading earth and kidnapping men with large cocks.

You're in no danger. I'm just writing you to say goodbye.

Me: Mom, you're invading my personal space

Mom: Well, you came out of my personal space, so that makes us even.

What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading?

Crimea River.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Nazis were invading America...

The Nazis were invading America and people were panicking. As the troops approached a small American town, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde ran to hide. They came upon three trees and each climbed up a tree to hide.

The Nazis approached the first tree and kicked it, “what’s in this tree?” t...

All these people posting about invading Area 51..

All they need to do is change the “restricted area” signs to “now hiring” and “now recruiting” and it’ll lower the numbers by at least half.

Did you guys watch the movie about aliens invading America?

I think it was called "Pocahontas"

Why doesn’t anyone have to worry about the Chinese invading

Because general tso is a chicken.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the the Germans attack France by invading through Belgium?

Because they knew the French would Nazi that coming.

What do you call a group of invading pirates?

An **Arrr**my

How is making cheese like invading Syria?

You get some Kurds in the way.

I told my mum she was invading my privacy

She told me I came out her privacy

My girlfriend said to me that she would break up with me for invading her privacy

Or at least that's what it said in her diary.

"Hey, did you see that article about cats invading the internet?"

"Yeah, I reddit."

TIL For 15 years, the Swedes thought sounds from the sea were Russian submarines invading their territory. They regularly investigated, sending subs, boats and helicopters - at great expense - only to come up empty-handed.

Upon investigation by a biologist, the noise was discovered to be farts from fish.

It seems the Swedes were having herring problems.

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:

“Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter....

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