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Civilized Jokes

A Finnish joke from the Cold War

During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland.

He replied “first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets”.

The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why.

“We are civiliz...

Tomorrow is Black Friday just be decent and civilized

By holding the cell phone horizontal when recording any fights.

Pirates never have civilized discussions

They arrrrrrgue

A priest was teaching a tribe to be civilized..

A priest/whatever was teaching a tribe to be civilized. He taught them all the manners and etiquettes. Finally, he decided to teach them English.

He took the village head and walked around the forest.

He pointed at a tree and said "tree". The Elder nodded and the priest was pleased tha...

As a civilized caveman, Arg found Kro’s advocacy for cannibalism to be deplorable and publicly opposed him.

When the great famine arrived, he realized he was going to have to eat Kro.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

He...

God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized.

Not mine. I find it funny, but I do admit some won't.

Source: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Stubber

Edit: Added who Browning is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Browning_machine_gun

A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe...

...and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes. One day, the Chief's wife gives birth to... a white child!

The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professo...

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