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Icebergs Jokes

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered an amazing fact about icebergs...

More below.

If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic

Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:

There isn't any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be ...

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

Why do people think icebergs are tough?

Survivorship bias.

Iceberg

A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.

One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns...

Why will Titanic II be better than Titanic I?

Because there are no icebergs to crash into anymore.

What was the biggest lesson learnt from the Titanic tragedy ?

Make icebergs smaller.

The Titanic II is set to make its maiden voyage in 2022

At least they won't have to worry about icebergs, due to global warming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man walks into a bar and sits right next to a Jewish man.

The Jewish man starts eyeing the Chinese man suspiciously, a dark expression covering his face. Suddenly, with no warning at all, he stands up, grabs the Chinese man by the neck, smashes his face against the bar and throws him to the floor.

The Chinese man, dazed and angry, stands up and con...

The captain and some navigators are smoking weed on the bridge on the titanic

When all of a sudden a cadet bursts in from the door releasing a big cloud of weed smoke right into his face. The cadet ignores it and starts exclaiming:

"Captain! I've spotted a huge ice block of ice right in our path, we need to change course, or we will hit it!"

"Naah, don't worry ...

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