What do you call a guy sitting by the river with his pole and some string?

Fishing Rod

What do you call a guy sitting in the closest with his pole and some string?

Auto-e-Rod-ic Asphyxiation

Organic chemistry is difficult

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble

Punny Ant Jokes

What is the dumbest ant?

What is the bossier ant?

How many insects does it take to make a landlord?
Ten ants.

What ant is the biggest?

What ant is a military officer?

Me and my crush asked each other out during chemistry

It was pretty Fe-ic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having trouble sleeping..

I've been having trouble sleeping, not getting good sleep, etc, so I went to the doctor and told them I've been having trouble in the bedroom. We chatted for a few minutes without getting into anything specifIc, he was being kind of vague for some reason. Anyway, he gave me a script for some pills a...

What did the musician say as he got kidnapped?

"I'm in treble!"

What do a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common?

They both contain IC BMs.

How does Donald Trump feel about the trade war with China?


What does Dr. Pepper have his PhD in?

Theoretical fizz-ics.

What do whales like to draw with?

A-krill-ic paint.

Persians are funny...

...Their jokes are always so Iran-ic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Pittsburgh Man, Idaho Falls Man, and a Cleveland Man walk into a bar...

An Idaho Falls man, a Pittsburgh man, and a Cleveland man walk into a bar.

An atheist bartender asks the Idado Falls man what he's drinking.

"Water. The Idaho Falls man replies. "My God doesn't allow us to drink harmful substances."

The bartender replies, "God doesn't exist, b...

How fast are the particles in the Large Hadron Collider going?

Super cern-ic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Be careful what you say

A newly-wed business man planned to go on a business trip and didn't want his wife to cheat on him because he couldn't pleasure her for 3 weeks. So he comes out of the house and goes to the nearest sex store. After asking the store owner what could pleasure his wife for the 3 weeks he was gone, the ...

Can a dinosaur tell a joke?

You bet jur-ass-ic can!

What do you call a sports competition for the crippled?

The O*limp*ics

Two 5th graders are doing Math homework.

One tells the other, "I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."

The other lowers her glasses and says, "IC."

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