How did the Mexican chef become the best cop on the force?

Consistency. He always finished a case a dia.

Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"

The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."

Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"

The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a bunch of Olympic swimmers have the shits for days?

Dia-Rio.

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