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Hyped Jokes

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hyped up about the Super Bowl.

“It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A zoophile, a masochist and an arsonist get together

They're all bored out of their minds in their little apartment when a cat appears on the window.

The zoophile looks at it lustfully and says "I'm gonna hit that cat senseless and fuck it"

The arsonist gets excited and shouts "hell yeah!! And when you're done I can stick a firework up i...

I know this is r/jokes, but I have to share this with someone.

I'm about to go and see the bank manager and my life will change forever. I'll finally have the money to take my kids abroad, buy my wife that car she's always wanted and have plenty left over to enjoy Christmas.

I'm talking *millions* here, guys. I can't contain my excitement, in fact, I'm s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Missionary

I heard this joke in my native language, so I hope it makes sense in English.

There's this married couple, and the wife is tired of having sex only in the missionary style, so she tells her husband, "Go hang out with your friends, talk to them, listen to their ideas about different sex styles...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a Pet Shop.

He says he is looking for the best pet, a "companion".
The seller says "I have a parrot, a very smart one, he speaks in English, Spanish and German, and he knows some physics and mechanics"
The client, surprised, asks for the price, the seller says 500 USD.
The client, still hyped for the p...

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