How Come Jokes - 38 Hilarious How Come Jokes

How come nobody at the kings table laughed when he farted?

Because noble gases don't cause reactions.

How come Barbie never got pregnant?

Because Ken always came in another box.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the pub last night when the barman asked me, "How come I never see you in here with Pete any more?"

I asked him, "Would you drink with a bloke who's a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything you have, and when your back is turned he tries to fuck your wife and daughter?"

"Bloody hell! No!" he said, somewhat flabberg...

There has been much said and sung about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

The Tea of the Tiger was quite a refreshing and pleasant event!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[nsfw] I went to my doctor for a physical. She said, "Well, you're going to have to stop masturbating." I asked how come.

"Because I'm trying to give you an exam."

How come ants don't get sick?

...because they have lil' anty-bodies

*runs away*

A kid asks, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

The mom replies, "Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."

How come the turtle didn't have a hard shell?

Because it had ereptile dysfunction

How come Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

Because they’re the one who make the toys.

A woman on a dating site sent me a message saying, "Wow! Your gorgeous, how come your still single?"

"It's spelled 'you're'," I replied.

A kid asks his grandmother "How come ive never seen you and grandpa fight?..."

/ - ... I see mom and dad fight from time to time, but ive never seen you and grandaddy fight... why is that?

/ - Well, says the grandma, we got married in the old church in the middle of town, after the marriage ceremony, we hopped on our horse carriage, it was a long time ago when horse ca...

how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek?

Dad: Cause it's the future son

How come you never read about Will Smith anymore?

Because paper covers Rock.

how come abortion jokes don't work?

There's no delivery

How come there aren’t any knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings.

How come you never see a Rhinoceros hiding in a tree?

Because they are really good at it.

How come Spongebob is the main character?

When Patrick is the star.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How come Italy is shaped like a boot?

Can’t fit that much shit in a shoe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hasband says to his wife “How come you never tell me when you orgasm?”

Wife says “I don’t like calling you at work”.

How come vampires are portrayed to be porcelain white even though the original vampire, Vlad Dracula, was quite swarthy?

Must be his nickname.

"How come your dad always has a belt on hand?"

"Beats me"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How come when a woman is pregnant, everyone rubs her stomach and says congratulations.

But no one rubs your balls and says good job?

A young boy asked me how come he was an orphan.

I said the reason was not apparent.

How come Geronimo never had facial hair?

Cause he could only grow Apache beard!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

How come the lawn of a graveyard needs to be mowed so often?

Because of everybody pushing up the daisies

How come churches don't have Wi-Fi?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

How come the Fresh Prince was able to craft a sword?

He's a black Smith.

How come when NASA shows pictures of their black hole, it’s “breaking news”

But when I show pictures of mine it’s an “HR violation”

How come witches fly solo?

Because there's no broom left for anyone else.

Everyone asked a 100-year-old man and his 98-year-old wife for their health secrets.

The old man said "I'll tell you my secret. I've been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometres. So I've been walking 5 kilometres every day for past 75 years! Everyone applauded and asked again "But how come your wife is...

How come Voldemort hates the sun?

Because his sunglasses won’t stay up

How come the media never says anything positive about trump?

Until today there was nothing to report.

Howdy this is Elvis and I have a joke for you fine people today. How come my hair has turned grey?

Because I never dyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If 2020 is perfect vision, how come no one saw this shit coming?

You need to wait until 2021. Hindsight is 2020.

How come the lifeguard didn’t save the hippie

Because he was too far out man

How come Batman shampoo exists...

But not Conditioner Gorder?

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