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Hard To Swallow Jokes

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

reality

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My jokes are like semen

Sometimes they land and stick

Other times they are hard to swallow

Hard to swallow

My friend says to me "I'm sick but I'm having a tough time keeping my medicine in me".
"Why don't you try taking it with food like soup or a banana?" I suggest.
A few days later I see him and he's looking a lot better.
"I tried taking my meds with a banana like you said and it worked!...

It can be really hard to swallow your pride

But sometimes a lion is just that hungry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandpa overdosed on viagra recently.

Grandma found it hard to swallow.

I told her I had 13 inches

She said “I find that hard to swallow”

Had dinner, ordered desert

I confess, the sand was a little hard to swallow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tetanus isn't actually caused by rusty objects, but by bacteria in dirt, which we often associate with rusty nails and tools that can introduce the bacteria through wounds.

This is why tetanus vaccines are so important. For anti-vaxxers, that truth could be hard to swallow.






Any appreciation for lockjaw puns?

Doctor told me I can only eat liquid foods now

The truth was hard to swallow

The thing about bird jokes are...

sometimes they're hard to swallow.

Owl let myself out.

My friend told me I was bad at chewing

I found that rather hard to swallow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I ran some tests the other day about my really thick semen

The results were hard to swallow.

When I started dating my girlfriend I was worried about telling her I had addiction, I used to eat dry crackers all day long

It was hard to swallow but she stood by me and helped me through it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it h...

A sufficiently advanced society has synthesized all human knowledge

in pill form. So an undergraduate goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist if he has history, economics, and literature. The pharmacist disappears into the back. When he returns, he has three little boxes and says

"Here, take this purple one for all of human history—from the origins all...

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