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Grosse Jokes

"Lincoln" grossed $275,000,000 in movie theaters

Which is ironic since historically Lincoln doesn't do too well in theaters

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What's grosser than gross?

Having a dream you're eating chocolate pudding and waking up with a spoon in your ass.

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Why is 70 grossed out by 69?

Because his forehead smells like ass.

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An Englishman asked a Frenchman his favorite animal.

The Frenchman forgot the word in English and said, "My favorite animal is a phoque!"

The Englishman said, "Wait, you said your favorite animal is a fuck?"

"No, silly! A *phoque*!"

"Yeah, a fuck. I get it! But that's not an animal."

"No, a phoque! Especially the ones that...

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Redneck First Aid

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Well these two hillbillies in the next booth notice she is choking so they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops h...

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