Goto Jokes

Because it said “under 17 not admitted”

Because he was sure he was a fungi

At the pearly gates, St. Peter says they must each answer one question to get in.
Peter asks the 1st nun, “ Who was the first man on earth?“
-She says “Adam.”
(The gates open, she goes in)
Peter asks the 2nd nun, “ Who was the first woman on earth?“
-She says “Eve.”
(The gates o... read more

Mind if I pick your brain.

Pregnant.

He says “we have 1 major rule here in heaven, there are a lot of Turkeys up here. Do not step on the Turkeys there will be consequences “

Accepting this rule the women nod their heads and go on into heaven. About 5 days later the first of the 3 women step on a Turkey. She is immediately calle... read more

Try this out:

Stop at your local pharmacy, goto their thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock the doors, draw the blinds, change into your comfy clothes, sit on your favourite ch... read more

So she took it to the vet. The vet said no wonder it won’t listen I’ve never seen that much hair in a dogs ears. He clipped some out and said goto the pharmacy and buy a bottle of nair hair remover.

Put a little on a qtip and rub back in there and that’ll take care of the problem.

So... read more

To goto the second hand store.

It was 3 guys sitting around a table and the first guy goes, "what about a C, eh?" the second guy says "yea what about an N eh?" and the last guy says "what about a D eh?"


I don't know if this has been told here before but it's definitely my goto joke.