Kanye West invited me to his presidential rally, I told him I'd only go if I could wear X-Ray goggles, he asked me why?

I said to him, "I already know you're crazy, but now I can see your nuts too!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do redditors wear goggles during sex?

To keep the mace out of their eyes.

This power washer says you're supposed to wear safety goggles when you use it.

I can't see why.

I realised at the last minute that i forgot my protective goggles at the nuclear test facility this morning. My line manager saved my vision and shielded me from the intense light!

He's my super visor

Use swimming goggles

They will change your swimming view

I bought some high tech goggles...

I bought some high tech goggles the other day that help you see in the dark.

As soon as I put them on, everyone went green with NV.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say masturbation causes blindness

not unless you wear goggles

How do you get "Beer Goggles?"

You put alcohol in your "Drinking Glasses."

Why was the teacher wearing sun-goggles in the class?

Because the students were such a bright bunch of kids!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two nums were ordered to paint the sanctuary which was being refurbished.

To avoid splattering paint on their habits, they decided to lock the doors and paint in the nude.

After a while, they heard a knock on the door and asked "Who is it?"
The answer came back "Blind man!"

They shrugged and decided to open the door, the blind man couldn't see their...

A guy is out bow hunting...

... and while he's peeking out from behind a bush, he feels a giant paw on his shoulder.

It's a bear who says, "I won't kill you if you get on your knees and blow me right now."

The hunter is terrified so what could he do? He gives the bear head.

He feels humiliated and very an...

I'm going to open up a store that only sells two bed covers and two snorkels.

Just four sheets and goggles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde gets on a plane with her friend and they take their seats.

An hour or so after take off, they're handed an eye mask and pillow. The blonde ponders the in-flight entertainment for a moment, then puts on her eye mask and kicks back... when suddenly, the plane violently shakes and everyone starts to scream.

The hull of the plane tears open, ripping off ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of Louise.

Once upon a time there was a 7-year-old girl named Louise. Now from a young age Louise had always had an interest in science. Someday she wanted to be an astronaut, to pilot a spaceship, and to explore alien worlds, but she didn't have time for any of those things. You see, Louise's family owned thi...

"Cleanliness" is next to "godliness." No, it's not...

"Cleanliness" is next to "cleavage." And "godliness" is next to "goggles."

So there was a competition between polices...

(...) and the three finalists on this efficiency competition were: Interpol, FBI and Rio de Janeiro's Elite Squad.

The last assignment was really simple. They should retrieve a small rabbit after being released in a jungle. The group doing it in less time wins.

First went Interpol, wit...

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