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German Submarine Jokes

I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine.

It’s a pretty good µ-boat.

A German submarine is starting to take on water

A German submarine is starting to take on water. In desperation, they radio a nearby German base.

"Help us, ve are sinking, ve are sinking"

Just as they were about to fully sink, a reply came.

"Vhat are you sinking about?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority.

"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can remain submerged from the moment they leave the port, to the day the...

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The german submarine in the Atlantic brings in a new communications guy.

It's his first day on the job and he's given instructions on which istrument does what and chart for morse code. Very excited about the job, he tunes in and is left to his own by his CO after a bit.

In a few hours, he receives his first message. "This is the Royal navy. Mayday Mayday, we are ...

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A russian and an american are in the baltic sea arguing about which one has better submarines

Russian: "Our submarines are the absolute top, you never find them and they can be submerged for weeks."

American: "Our subs can patrol all seas without any blind spots continously without you noticing and they can stay underwater for months."

Suddenly a german submarine that's worn-ou...

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Trump and Putin

were visiting Merkel in Germany.
The three were walking on a beach and talking about their militarys when Trump said:" We have the best submarines, believe me they are yuuuge. They can stay under water for days without needing to get up."
Putin started to laugh:" xaxaxa thats nothing our subma...

The last joke my Italian grandfather told me before he passed.

Two italian soldiers are sitting on a beach in Normandy during WWII when a German submarine surfaces offshore. One Italian looks at the other and says, "Is thata UBoat?" The other Italian replies, "nope, not mine".

I went to a military history exhibit at a museum in Little Italy.

I saw a cool old German submarine. I walked up to a guy and said, "Hey, is that a U-boat?"

He said, "No, it's-a the museum's!"

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