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Oldster Jokes

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Two oldsters in a retirement home decide to get married.

But before they can do so, a doctor gives each one a physical to make sure that consummating the marriage would not be too dangerous for them.

He examines the man first, all is OK.

Then he examines the woman. He comes out with a rather somber look on his face and says to the man: «...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man is caught checking out a lady

Lady: (disgusted) You're a grown-ass man

Oldster: Correction. I'm a grown ass-man

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A young man is relaxing on a park bench on a fine Spring day.

An elderly gent comes shuffling by with a very serious expression on his face.

"Hey, old timer, something wrong?" asks the younger fellow.

"Shit my pants," answers the oldster.

"Then why don't you change them," suggests the youngster.

"Not done yet," was the reply.

Golf and Dentures

A couple of senior guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to a dentist for a new set of dentures the next morning.

His elderly buddy remarked that he too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

"Is that so?" asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job?"<...

A fire breaks out at a large chemical plant.....

...and is blazing violently out of control. Engine companies from all over the city keep rolling in to fight the fire, but it keeps growing worse and worse. Storage tanks are exploding and warehouses full of toxic chemicals are burning so hot the firemen keep getting pushed further and further back....

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