My sons teacher got fired for being cross eyed

She couldn't control her pupils.

Why did the one eyed headmaster close down his school....

Because he only had one pupil

The blond hair/blue eyed family like keeping their doors and windows open

They’re Aryan the house out

What happened to the cross-eyed circumcisor?

He got the sack.

I've been dating a cross-eyed woman for 3 months now. But I don't think it's gonna last.

We just don't see eye to eye.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend was dating two blonde haired, blue eyed twins from Sweden, but he couldn’t tell the difference between them.

He finally worked out that Anna has a little freckle on her right butt cheek, and Bjorn has a moustache.

I had to break up with a cross eyed girl a while back.

She was seeing people on the side.

What’s the name of that one eyed pirate movies actor?

Eye Patchino

I used to date a cross-eyed girl.

I stopped when I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.

Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.

Two in one direction, then ...

You guys hear about the insecure cross-eyed teacher??

Apparently he couldn't control his pupils

My cross eyed wife and I are getting a divorce..

We just couldn’t see eye to eye.

What’s even worse though, is that found out that she was seeing someone on the side.

You know, I’m glad I’m not cross eyed ...

Because the then I’d have love at second sight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] I met a pirate...

At least, I think he was a pirate. I never asked, but he had an eye patch over one eye, a wooden leg, a hook where his hand should be, and a parrot on his shoulder. So I was pretty sure he was a pirate. Also, we were on the boardwalk by the beach, so I figured that's as likely a place as any for a p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I blended a little Viagra and some penis enlargement medication into my eyedrops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

Did you hear about the book of poetry that the Black Eyed Peas are publishing?

It's written in Will.I.Ambic Pentameter

The cross-eyed judge looked at the 3 defendants

How do you plead? he asked the first man. Not guilty, said the second. I wasn’t talking to you, said the judge. I didn’t say a word, said the third.

I once dumped a cross-eyed chick.

Thought she was seeing someone else.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had so much fun yesterday, I fucked this girl cross eyed

I mean she was cross eyed before we had sex anyway but still.

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.

He is approached by the ranger who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the d...

What do you call a hooved ruminant wearing glasses?

A bad-eyed deer.

Why did the lazy eyed teacher get fired?

because he couldn’t keep his pupils in check

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