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External Jokes

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Why does Hitler like external hard drives?

Because they're not C:\\

if Newton heard someone suggest his corpse could move without an external force acting upon it...

...he would roll over in his grave.

Hey, do you want to come back to my place and regulate our body temperatures using external sources?

No hom(e)o(stasis)

Scientists have recently discovered that a pinniped’s external ear flaps carry an electric charge

If you put them on a seal, you get a seal ion.

I like my men like I like my external hard drives...

Solid state, and to dump all my history on.


history

So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive

It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)

Two engineering students are waiting to give their oral viva test.

The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

External :- Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Student :- I will open the window.

External :- Great, now suppose that the area of the window is1.5 sq.m and the volume of the compa...

Instead of buying twitter for $43 billion

Elon Musk could add another $8 billion and clear the external debt of Sri Lanka.
He can rename it Ceylon Musk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A toothpaste factory had a problem.

They sometimes shipped empty boxes
without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the
buyers and distributors. Understanding how important the relationship with
them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to
hire an external engineering ...

I was raised in a nuclear powered family.

My parents were so obsessed with appearances that external pressure overcame their repulsion for me.

My girlfriend said being with me is like being on a diet.

I was touched at first and told her that I feel like being with her is a continual journey of self-improvement and striving to get to a better place too.

I felt a little worse after she explained that she only meant it in the sense that being with me is a perpetual struggle of self-denial mo...

Why do hypochondriacs make for good chemical catalysts?

They overreact to all external stimuli!

A chemist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a cafe, looking out of the window.

They all watch three people walk into a house across the road. After 20 minutes, only two people leave the same house.

The scientists are very confused about what has happened.

'The measurements varied, and therefore the measuring equipment was likely inaccurate,' declares the chemist,...

Kinda nerdy IT thing that escaped my mouth today at work...

I'd set up a server and tested everything internally. I was able to visit pages on the apache server, and make calls to the tomcat rest api servlet just fine.

However, when I tried external tests nothing worked. I checked, rechecked and verified the firewall was allowing the correct ports t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young monk talks to his wise master.

Young Monk: "Oh, dear Master, the days pass by and I still can't perfect the art of yoga. Why is that?"

Master: "Well, Do you see the water in a river, flowing effortlessly yet always stronger than the hardest of rocks?"

Monk: "Yes Master."

Master: "Do you see the clouds, giving...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prostitute has a problem...

There once was a very prolific prostitute. She serviced many a John and a Jane over her career.

Her biggest insecurity was always the way her vagina looked. She had rather large pussy lips (labia minora). Occasionally, she would be rejected by a client because of the way her lady bits looked...

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