A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

I was fighting overseas

She wanted B's but I said it wouldn't hurt to upgrade

A family goes overseas on a camping holiday

The 2 kids become friendly with a wild skunk. Over the course of the holiday they build up the skunks trust and they are able to handle it, pet it, feed it and play with it. They love the skunk and the skunk loves them.

On the last day of the holiday, the family is packing up their camp site ...

Working overseas.

I work in China with a guy named Kim

One day we were drinking and I asked him if he's fed up of westerns saying that all Chinese look the same.

He said "Kim's at the bar getting drinks I'm his wife"

We, the taxpayers, keep paying to send Trump on very expensive trips overseas.

It might be worth it too, except he keeps coming back.

A different presidential joke

George W. Bush was talking to some of his military advisors, and after listening to their briefings, he stated that he was going to earmark some military funds to send portraits of his predecessor's wife to the troops overseas.

One of his generals sighed, and leaned in. "Sir, we were asking f...

All the foreigners know the USA is still number 1...

when you dial from overseas.

A drover walks into a pub...

A drover walks into a pub and orders 3 beers. He drinks a sip of each in turn. When he finish he orders 3 more.

The bartender says,”You know, a beer goes flat after I pour it. They taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cattleman replies, “Well, you see, I’ve 2 brothers overse...

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.

Please keep your photo and return the others.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unemployment

A young fella with his pants hanging half off his arse, no front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local unemployment office to pick up his benefit money.

He strolled up to the counter and said:
"Hi there, you know what... I really HATE claiming benef...

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An American businessman is entertaining some overseas business guests on the golf course.

The first guest, who is from Italy, tees off and hits a good shot 200 yards down the fairway. As the American businessman knows a small amount of Italian he says: “Buon tiro”, which means “Good shot”. The Italian businessman replies: “Grazie”.
The second guest, who is from France, tees off and hi...

Where do Welsh sheep farmers take their fleece to send overseas?

OooOooo woolwarves of London

If Gandalf wanted to go on an overseas holiday, what would he do?

Fly, *you fools*.

Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?

Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.

A zombie is checking for an overseas flight...

At the security check the TSA is scanning his luggage, running him through metal detectors, etc. Finally, an attendant stops him at the gate.

"Sir, you're absolutely crawling with bugs. You're going to have to store those un your suitcase or ship them separately."

"Oh, no, it's okay." ...

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Cornishman on an overseas flight.

After a few drinks, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian...

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As told to me by an indian bus driver overseas...

Why don't rabbits make noise when they fuck?

Because they have cotton balls.


Apologies if it's a repost.

I adopted a child from overseas...

I adopted a child from overseas.
To prevent him from working child-labour factories.
And on his very first birthday, we took him to build a bear workshop.

Shoe Store

When I was young my parents started up a shoe store, which wasn’t overly successful but they made ends meet. Due to various economic pressures they had to outsource labour overseas to China. My father, Bob, could speak Mandarin so always conversed with the manager of the production plant in their na...

Trump really does make everything overseas

He had his shirts made in Korea, his glasses made in China, and his Presidency made in Russia.

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A platoon of soldiers is overseas fighting the battle of a lifetime

when all of the sudden, Private Smith runs out of ammo. He yells over for his Sergeant for some more, when the Sergeant throws him a stick. "What am I supposed to do with this?!" Smith yells angrily. In a joking manner, the Sergeant replies "Point it at the enemy, and yell BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!!!...

The lawyer called his client overseas...

..."Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep and I can't reach any other relatives. Shall we order burial or cremation?"

Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both."

EDITED to improve flow as suggested by /u/emilskoda

What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project?

Krautsourcing

A New Yorker, a Las Vegan, and a Texan all meet at a bar overseas...

The New Yorker says "this bar is ok, but I'd like to drink to my hometown bar, where the server greets you with your favourite drink, and every weekend is happy hour all night."

They all nod and cheers, and drink to the New Yorkers hometown bar.

After the next couple of rounds the La...

A blonde goes into an overseas transmission center...

So this blonde goes into this transmission center to go talk to her mother, which is in another continent working 12 hours a day. The male receptionist said "100 dollars please," and the woman remembered she left the cash at home. She didn't have the time to wait, so she said to the male receptionis...

So after serving overseas for 6 months a soldier calls home...

...his brother picks up the phone, they say their hellos and ask how each other are doing. The soldier then asks how everything is with the rest of the family. The brother says, "Well, the cat died."
The soldier is shocked by this and answers, "You can't just drop that on me, you need to ease m...

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A horse wants to start a band

A horse wants to start a band. However, he can’t sing; So he goes to a vet.



He asks the vet, “Can you give me vocal cords so I can sing?” The vet agrees and gives the horse vocal cords.

A chicken sees this and wants to join the band, so he asks the vet, “can you give me lips so...

A very wealthy man goes in a New Your bank and loans $10, leaving his Rolls Royce for collateral.

He then goes on a trip overseas, and returns a month later. He immediately goes to the bank, pays the $10 plus 5 cents interest, and turns to leave.

The president of the bank can't contain himself, and rushes up to the man to ask "Why did you borrow $10 when you're so rich? And why leave a ...

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates, and St. Peter decides which vehicle to give them.

“Heaven is a big place,” he says. “You’ll need something to get around. What I give you is based on how well you treated your marriage on Earth.”

The first guy says, “Marriage was difficult for me. We both had affairs and eventually got divorced after 10 years. But I still tried to live a goo...

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A man walks into the doctor's with an awful rash on his penis

The doctor asks if the man had been overseas recently, to which the answer was yes (he had just returned from a holiday in Asia).

The Doctor says "I'm sorry to tell you that you have Hong Kong Dong and your penis needs to be removed."

The man was shocked and extremely upset.
He left...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman had twin boys

Unfortunately, she was unable to keep them, so she put them up for adoption. She was able to find loving homes for both of them overseas, but it was many years since she had seen them.

Then, just before their 21st birthday she got two letters, one from Egypt, the other from Spain. Each son ha...

A Man Walks Into A Bar...

And orders 3 shots for himself. The bartender asks why 3 shots? The man says that he has two brothers overseas and that whenever they drink, they all drink for each other as well.

A few weeks later, the same man comes in again and orders 2 shots for himself. The bartender asks the man if some...

The Horse, the Cow and the Pig.

There once was a barn with 3 best friends who happened to be a Horse, a Pig, and a Cow.

They are together listening to the radio through the window of the barn and the Horse hears am the guitar and he says “ hey I really love the guitar, you know what I’m gonna learn it”, so he goes off and l...

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An old and crusty retired Army Master Sergeant was sitting by himself at a bar [mildly NSFW]

...when a beautiful blonde bombshell comes in the room. She noticed the old Master Sergeant right away. She finds him rugged and handsome, and sits down next to him.

"May I buy you a drink?" she asks him. He obliges.

She's obviously interested in him. The blonde says to him "So t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Jimmy got mixed in with a bad crowd and found himself headed to jail. Being his first time, he was a little intimidated by the things he’d heard, so he was looking for some advice.

His uncle was a colorful fellow and a world traveler, and Jimmy figured he probably knew his way out of a dangerous situation better than anyone else he knew. After Jimmy explained his predicament, the uncle said:

“Yeah, I reckon I have some advice. Some years ago I was overseas riding throu...

Tax.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100...
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The se...

transatlantic voyage 5 dollars

A guy sees a newspaper ad that says "transatlantic voyage only five dollars". He's never been overseas so he heads down to the dock on the coast and sure enough, there's a shack with a sign "transatlantic voyage $5". He gives the attendant five bucks and is handed a pair of oars. The attendant sh...

Two best friends apart

This joke about two very good friends who grew up together. Tom and Jim. Tom decides to go out of the country for work, and asks his best friend Jim to look after his mother and his cat. Jim promises that he will, and that he will write to Tom to keep in touch.

While working overseas Tom get...

Three young priests are sitting in a pub... (NSFW)

They've all recently graduated from the seminary, and they've just been told where they're being sent for their first posting: they've all requested missionary work overseas.

The first one takes a huge swig of his pint and slams it down on the table triumphantly.

"Well, I'm over the mo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's statement regarding China

Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors ...

"My wife can't be pregnant!"

A man shouted over the phone to the family doctor. "I've been traveling overseas for the past 10 months!"

"We call that a grudge pregnancy," the doctor said. "Someone had it in for you."

The obesity epidemic is getting out of hand.....

Americans are becoming huge targets overseas

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Foreigner buys a hotdog

A man from overseas comes for a vacation to the United States for the first time with his cousin. One day, while walking through the park they see a food cart with the word "Hotdogs" on the side. Since the man had never had a hotdog before, he decides to wait in line to buy one. When it's his turn t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A soldier with needs

A soldier has been deployed overseas almost a year ago. He's a single guy and, well after all this time, is starting to have certain sexual needs. They are in a place that is a bit far from civilization so it's kind of hard to meet women.

He mentions this to his superior:

''Sir, I've ...

blond joke

A blonde went into an internet cafe to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money, but I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).

"Anything?" he as...

A Vulture Goes Through Customs at the Airport

So this vulture is returning home from an much needed overseas vacation. As she passes through the customs line one of the agents asks, "Do you have any checked luggage?" To which the vulture replies, "Nope, just carrion."

[Long] Story about soldier and friend

A soldier named Peter is deployed overseas for war and stay in contact with his friend Ben by writing letters.

In the first letter to the soldier:

Dear Pete:
I’m sorry to say, but your favorite cat Fluffy keeled
over dead yesterday.
Sincerely,
Ben

Peter is obviousl...

A man finds a genie in a bottle...

A British man is walking a long a beach one day and finds a lamp in the sand. Hoping for the best he rubs it and almost instantly a genie appears. The genie says, "for releasing me from this lamp I will grant you one wish." The man is in a state of shock and awe from not only being granted a wish bu...

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