If you don’t keep up your regular payments to your exorcist...

Your home may be repossessed

You know what happens when you don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

The Exorcist star Linda Blair turns 62 today and still looks amazing

She is still turning heads.

(Heard this one on the radio this morning.)

Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.

I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.

A man took out a loan to pay for an exorcist...

However he couldn’t make the repayments so the house was repossessed.

Have you seen the new Exorcist movie?

This time it’s the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.

"We call hard-drinking Ian an exorcist." "Why?" asks the bartender.

"When he shows up, all the spirits disappear."

Why does an exorcist never ask for a down payment?

Because if you don't pay, he'll just repossess your house.

I always wanted to be an exorcist

So I studied and worked real hard to become an orcist. Then I quit.

Did y’all hear about the new Exorcist movie? Apparently there’s a twist.

The devil comes to take the priest out of the kid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a rude exorcist and a bored gay?

One says "Leave my body, asshole." The other says "Leve my asshole, buddy."

What do you get when you cross a mobster with an exorcist?

Beats the hell out of me.

The kid from the Exorcist got a ticket.

For possession.


Happy Halloween.

Have you heard the one about the family who couldn't afford to pay the exorcist?

Their house was repossessed.

It turns out the town drunk is an exorcist.

Since his last visit, there are no more spirits in the liquor store.

what do exorcists and alcoholics have in common?

They both treat their demons with spirits!

I couldn't pay the exorcist that I hired.

He came around and re-possessed my house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I haven't paid the exorcist in time.

They were so pissed they came back and repossessed my house.

Have you heard about the new prequel for the exorcist?

it's called *the orcist*

I always found the movie "The Exorcist" confusing...

It made my head spin.

I bought a book

I bought a book entitled "an exorcist explains the demonic".

I don't know what possessed me !

I refused to waste money paying an exorcist...

so he repossessed my house.

My co-worker was reading a book on her tea break.

I asked her what it was and she said "It's *The Exorcist*. It's the most evil book I've ever read, it's really getting to me."

At the start of her lunch break she said "Right, I'm getting rid of this horrible thing!". I watched out of the window as she walked by the river and threw the book i...

What happens when you don't pay the exorcist...

You get repossessed.

Nope not mine. May be a repost. If so upvotes to that person.

My house was being haunted, so my wife and I decided to look up some exorcists.

I found a really good one, but when we met with him, he seemed depressed. My wife found one that seemed much more upbeat. We discussed our options and decided to go with the happy medium.

This is an awfully hard time for me financially.

Last month I was unable to pay the bills to my exorcist and as a consequence I have been repossessed.

Whom do you call when your unvaccinated teenager won't move out?

An exorcist.

So my bedroom was filled with a demonic aura

I called in the local exorcist. When he entered my bedroom, I told him

"Get the hell out of here"

A man moves into a haunted house

After several nights of ghosts keeping him awake with their moaning and moving furniture around the house he calls an exorcist. A priest eventually comes round, performs some incantations, and sprinkles holy water around. The man was grateful for the priest's help with this haunting but says that ...

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