UPJOKE
executrixheirestatetestatorbequesttrusteeconfessorheirsdecedentlegateeaccountantlandlordlesseespousebeneficiary

Three woman are all sentenced to death by firing squad. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde...

The firing squad was called to shoot all the girls.

The brunette went first. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..." Before the man said three, the brunette yelled, "TORNADO!"

Everyone looked away, and she ran to safety.

The firing squad then went to the redhead. T...

An awful conductor...

So, a polish train conductor is carrying people to go out of the country. However, the tracks were icy because it was the middle of winter.
So the train slipped and rolled over eight times. Miraculously all but three people lived. When the conductor was trialed for manslaughter, he was found guil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man inherited a massive sum of money from his great aunt, but it came with a catch...

As part of the terms of the inheritance, he was required to care for her cherished grey parrot. The executor told him if anything should happen to the bird, or if he ever chose not to take care of it, he would have to forfeit the inheritance and estate.

At first, this seemed simple enough, bu...

A priest, a drunk, and a engineer are about to be executed...

A priest, a drunk, and a engineer are about to be executed in France during the French Revolution. The priest is first in line and the executor asks him if he wants to be looking up or down as the guillotine blade falls on him. The priest replies "I want to look up at the heavens before I die." As a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bad orchestra director

An orchestra conductor walks in on his wife cheating on him with his principal violinist. She confesses, "I haven't loved you for a while now. It's your job - you're a lousy conductor."

In a crime of passion, he shoots them both dead.

At his murder trial, he's found guilty and sentence...

King Hype Oten ruled all the land.

He was the magnificent king of the Triangular Kingdom, but he was also the executor for those on trial. He hung his victims, a sign to everyone else. But the way he tied the noose was strange. It would kill people in seconds, and for some, it decapitated them. After he died, the noose was never used...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.