On his deathbed, he asks for a Bible. The hospital staff thinks he has become religious now that his end is near. The doctor notices him going through every line carefully with a grave expression, so he asks, "what are you doing?". The lawyer looks up and replies dryly, "looking for a loophole."
A Tourist is Trudging Through Australia's Desert
A tourist is trudging through Australia’s Great Victoria Desert. …
He’s completely lost, and he’s quickly running out of water. His vision is rather impaired, and he can tell that he’s only got a few more hours before he’ll pass out.
Suddenly, he accidentally steps on a rattlesnake! Be...
It would be terrifying if Elizabeth I were alive today...
... Because she's dead.
Note: Credit goes to my dryly-sarcastic history professor.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The apple of your dreams.
One day Eddie walked into the patent office. He boldly stated to the patent officer, Bob, that he’d like to patent the apple. Bob, a studious man who looked like he spent a lifetime burying his face in books, dryly pointed out “You can’t patent the apple, Johnny Appleseed already did that.” “We...
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