Vampires that are depressed and unproductive tend to live longer...

... because no one wants to put any stake in them.

Why are horses the most unproductive animal to have in office meetings?

Because they're all just neigh-sayers

Why are spiders so unproductive?

Because they hang out on the web all day!

To celebrate my cake day, I decided to post a joke

I got more birthday wishes than my real-life birthday.



[Reddit, thank you for years of facts, hobbies, jokes, and hundreds of unproductive hours]

A 30 year old jobless, homeless, broke guy went to a palm reading fortune teller to know when will his life be better.

Guy: How will my future be?

FT: Till you're 42, you'll suffer thinking about your life getting ruined, cleaned out, agonized, strapped, tortured, penniless, distressed, dirt poor, tormented, wasted, unproductive, exhausted, dried up and living a lifeless life.

Guy: So what happens aft...

I don't know man, seems like you should just die

All my life: Be productive or die

Life right now: Be unproductive or die

Me: What to do?

Government: I don't know man, seems like you should just die

When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.

But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the funeral, Emily".

I'm great at multitasking!

I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

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